for Without You7/12/2015 c1 
1an aquatic unicorn
I liked the idea behind this! It was very cute and fluffy, but I think if you wanted to emphasize the drama aspect of the story, maybe have how alone Mal felt be a larger part of the story? She also seemed to forgive him very fast, seeing as how she agreed to marry him after not having contact with him for four years. It probably would've been easier to deal with had they been apart for a shorter period of time. However, I though the proposal was sweet and cute. Your formatting was a little packed. Good Job.
1an aquatic unicornI liked the idea behind this! It was very cute and fluffy, but I think if you wanted to emphasize the drama aspect of the story, maybe have how alone Mal felt be a larger part of the story? She also seemed to forgive him very fast, seeing as how she agreed to marry him after not having contact with him for four years. It probably would've been easier to deal with had they been apart for a shorter period of time. However, I though the proposal was sweet and cute. Your formatting was a little packed. Good Job.
7/12/2015 c1 8LorrahBear
A few nitpicky things first: "The chilly weather had only gotten [worse][,]" instead of worst. "he [had] taken everything she had given him[,] and [given] nothing in return" (just personal preference here, as I feel like that runs a little smoother. But of course, as always, feel free to ignore! There are a few more misplaced or missing pieces of punctuation scattered throughout, but it's an easy fix for you. :)
I love the line "anger seeping through every nook of her body." Fantastic!
I am perhaps jaded, but I have a hard time accepting that they not only got back together, but got engaged as well. That being said, I really enjoyed how she called him a pig, because it showed that while she clearly still loved him, and was willing to accept him back, that she retained a little bit of her righteous anger. I felt like that addition alone made this whole story believable. Fantastic!
8LorrahBearA few nitpicky things first: "The chilly weather had only gotten [worse][,]" instead of worst. "he [had] taken everything she had given him[,] and [given] nothing in return" (just personal preference here, as I feel like that runs a little smoother. But of course, as always, feel free to ignore! There are a few more misplaced or missing pieces of punctuation scattered throughout, but it's an easy fix for you. :)
I love the line "anger seeping through every nook of her body." Fantastic!
I am perhaps jaded, but I have a hard time accepting that they not only got back together, but got engaged as well. That being said, I really enjoyed how she called him a pig, because it showed that while she clearly still loved him, and was willing to accept him back, that she retained a little bit of her righteous anger. I felt like that addition alone made this whole story believable. Fantastic!