for A Siren's Love6/6/2016 c1 
5avalonrider
Very creative poem! My favorite line was "Of lungs splayed and waterlogged"; it's a very loaded line, in a good way.
The relationship morphs from one that at first seems to be positive into one that is tragic is apparent by the end and very well done. She tempts him, feigning desire to be the "figurehead on his bow", but she still leads him to death, scamming him til the end, til his "diet turns to lead", which I'm interpreting as his being shot to death.
Good poem!
5avalonriderVery creative poem! My favorite line was "Of lungs splayed and waterlogged"; it's a very loaded line, in a good way.
The relationship morphs from one that at first seems to be positive into one that is tragic is apparent by the end and very well done. She tempts him, feigning desire to be the "figurehead on his bow", but she still leads him to death, scamming him til the end, til his "diet turns to lead", which I'm interpreting as his being shot to death.
Good poem!
7/12/2015 c1 8LorrahBear
I like this quite a bit! You do a good job of evoking emotion, while still painting a vivid picture of what's going on. I do feel a little like the tenses jumped around ever so slightly, but beyond that, it was quite solid. Great job.
8LorrahBearI like this quite a bit! You do a good job of evoking emotion, while still painting a vivid picture of what's going on. I do feel a little like the tenses jumped around ever so slightly, but beyond that, it was quite solid. Great job.