for The Needle's Eye11/1/2015 c2 
11theweekendpoetry
This is interesting. Hope you'll update soon. I'm dying to know what'll happen next :)
11theweekendpoetryThis is interesting. Hope you'll update soon. I'm dying to know what'll happen next :)
8/24/2015 c1 rust phoenix
Intriguing! I like the detail of the black ink and lamplight, and the voice of the character is fascinating.
Intriguing! I like the detail of the black ink and lamplight, and the voice of the character is fascinating.
8/5/2015 c2 8LorrahBear
Interesting! I wonder why they're taking them out to the forest and why the nurse told them to bring their treasures.
8LorrahBearInteresting! I wonder why they're taking them out to the forest and why the nurse told them to bring their treasures.
7/21/2015 c1 1TheSwanSong
I hope you welcome constructive criticism :)
It isn't a bad start but I think she has quite the diction for a nine year old. I think you should deconstruct it into shorter, simple sentences and less complicated words (e.g. 'empty notebook' instead of 'blank crummy notebook'). Maybe a couple misspelled words, too.
1TheSwanSongI hope you welcome constructive criticism :)
It isn't a bad start but I think she has quite the diction for a nine year old. I think you should deconstruct it into shorter, simple sentences and less complicated words (e.g. 'empty notebook' instead of 'blank crummy notebook'). Maybe a couple misspelled words, too.
7/21/2015 c1 8LorrahBear
Only one small suggestion: you may have meant [past] the gates.
That being said, I'm so glad you're going to turn sewing and folding into a longer story! :)
8LorrahBearOnly one small suggestion: you may have meant [past] the gates.
That being said, I'm so glad you're going to turn sewing and folding into a longer story! :)