for dear walls of mine7/27/2015 c1 Mr. Tumnus
Top hole! I read the line "I feel little lately" one way the first time, then went back and found double meaning. That always ruffles my knuckers. Comment: try to avoid saying something "sounds so depressing," as it describes the speaker far too directly. Maybe show the feelings of sadness instead of revealing them, show them through the speaker's distress, their lack of hope.
Here's hoping all your walls crumble
Top hole! I read the line "I feel little lately" one way the first time, then went back and found double meaning. That always ruffles my knuckers. Comment: try to avoid saying something "sounds so depressing," as it describes the speaker far too directly. Maybe show the feelings of sadness instead of revealing them, show them through the speaker's distress, their lack of hope.
Here's hoping all your walls crumble