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for Cybil (FictionPress Draft)

8/25/2015 c1 8TheGirlWhoRambled
This is a very interesting concept for a story. Even though it’s only the first chapter I feel like you’ve done a good job setting the story up and grabbing the reader’s attention. Your characterisation was great too, especially for McDougal. I liked him, I hope he appears later in the story although I’m doubtful :P Anyway, one thing I noticed was that you gave McDougal’s name as ‘James’ initially but then you referred to him as ‘Jake’ at the end. Unless Jake is his nickname, in which case feel free to correct me, but I’ve never heard Jake being used as a nickname for James before xD Another thing I thought could be improved was your transition between the two scenes – I was confused as to whether the last scene was a flashback or a continuation. But, overall this was a really good first chapter. It was short but intriguing, and definitely makes me feel like I want to read on.
8/17/2015 c7 3solacing
A short chapter, but I enjoyed it! It was nice to learn more about Ty :) update soon!
8/16/2015 c6 2E.J. Wedge
You have an interesting story here and are doing a great job with revealing a new twist and turn in every new chapter!
8/12/2015 c6 3solacing
I like your characters. Pretty good plot overall
8/12/2015 c2 solacing
I liked this chapter as well. I also enjoy that Cybil doesn't speak yet; I'm curious about what she'll be like when/if she talks. Nice work so far.
8/12/2015 c1 solacing
Interesting start. I thought it was a pretty good hook :)
8/6/2015 c5 7pzadcat
MORE! I DEMAND MORE CHAPTERS NOW! THIS STORY IS TOO GOOD
8/6/2015 c1 pzadcat
W-O-W
W-O-W
I LOOOOOOVE THIS IDEA. Heck yeah, I'm definitely favoriting and following this.

-mi5hao
7/26/2015 c1 ujjalaguptacampbell
Good. What happens next?
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