for confession9/7/2015 c1 
63yanz
I love the simplicity of this, written like it's a matter of fact understanding. It makes you pause, evokes a sense of peace for a brief moment in time, the perfect atmosphere for a confession. The poem flows beautifully, and I also love that the line "this is me" follows "this is me without you", dropping the "you" literally.
63yanzI love the simplicity of this, written like it's a matter of fact understanding. It makes you pause, evokes a sense of peace for a brief moment in time, the perfect atmosphere for a confession. The poem flows beautifully, and I also love that the line "this is me" follows "this is me without you", dropping the "you" literally.
8/7/2015 c1 8rchll
The stand alone line at the beginning really sets the tone of the whole poem and I enjoyed the repetition at the beginning of the second stanza. Sometimes repetition can sound really choppy. Here you pulled it off wonderfully. I like the word "barren". Good word choice. I felt myself relax, as a reader, when it was time to "breathe" again. I'd change the last line to "nothing" instead of "no more".
8rchllThe stand alone line at the beginning really sets the tone of the whole poem and I enjoyed the repetition at the beginning of the second stanza. Sometimes repetition can sound really choppy. Here you pulled it off wonderfully. I like the word "barren". Good word choice. I felt myself relax, as a reader, when it was time to "breathe" again. I'd change the last line to "nothing" instead of "no more".