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for The Dance (One-shot)

9/18/2015 c1 12015
Wow! This is so realistic and down to earth it's almost painful. I wasn't really expecting the ending at all - it sort of brings reality back to mind for us readers.

You did a great job of incorporating the narrator's thoughts - they were believable and relatable and I was really convinced that it would work out for the first half of the story. Bravo! :)
9/6/2015 c1 1echogirlcapri
Awww...so sad! YES WRITE MORE OMG!
I love her thought process.. but I can't believe he leaves her. soooooo sad... I wish I could do a little boo-hoo emoji :P
But sadly, it's more realistic than most stories on here.

9/6/2015 c1 2Aske Nat
The first half was sweet, and then it turned sour - poor girl. But I liked that it didn't necessarily end well as a guy more interested in watching someone get sick on tape is not worth a whole lot.

There were a few missing words here and there, but nothing bad.

Happy writing.

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