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for American Waltz

1/2/2023 c1 72mary.okeeffe.16
New Orland's kind of reminds me of New Orleans, Louisiana.
7/3/2022 c1 knockmeoffmyfeet
Hello! I would like to invite you to join our platform to present a good quality story to our readers! Send me a message if this offer piqued your interest!
5/7/2021 c1 AvegaLil
You rock! Can't wait for the next one! If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on Novel Star, just submit your story to or
4/13/2021 c1 mssarahadams057
Awesome story you got here! I like how the plot is going. If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on NovelStar, just submit your story to or
9/18/2020 c12 1Nori-san
Oh mans, i posted by accident, i had more to say sorry about that!

Apparently FP doesn't allow more than one review per chapter, so I will have to put this in c12 instead. But this serves as a continuation of my review from c13.

Anyways to continue on the pacing, I think my only pet peeve was how easily it was resolved at the end and them taking pics at the Old Snappy - which would have carried more significance if it was touched on earlier in the story maybe c1 for Kevin to reminisce about Alison after graduation (just an opinion of how i would have brought in the tree for more effect). I guess I'm a sucker for foreshadowing and symbolism which is lacking a little in this story, but that's an issue for myself to deal with.

Speaking of foreshadowing, the deals that Chandler brought up could have been touched on earlier in the story as well, to bring some sort of suspense or tidbits for readers to be hooked. Him just laying it all in one chapter didn't really came off as a "oh wow, I should've known!" kind of feeling but instead felt like a wasted opportunity.

Biff's change in personality in the last chapter was surprising to me too, seeing how stubborn he was for the past 12 chapters that him having a change of heart overnight (literally) felt jarring. It'd be great if you could leverage on that online vid of their quarrel to create an epiphany moment for the dad to realise how fked up he is to his son. That, along with the last chapter would have made more sense and resonate with the readers too.

Also, Epilogues are usually reserved for events that happens after the end. Think of it like a comment, or conclusion to the overall story. I think the chapter still works out, just if it's going to happen right after the night then I don't think it counts as an epilogue. Just food for thought.

A couple of grammatical stuff to clear up but that's something I won't touch much since I'm guilty of this in my works as well.

Like I've said in the review I've accidentally posted pre-maturely, the premise is looking good but if the above could be taken into consideration when you do a revision of the story, I think the novel will be able to flow much better. Granted, this is one man's opinion and my suggestions are not a "end-all" solution. I think the underlying comment I want to say is that there should be a tighter control on the number of characters introduced, how they were introduced and their overall purpose in the story.

It's like playing a game of chess, and every piece have an important role to play, even if it's the pawns on the front lines.

Thank you for introducing me this story, I've enjoyed reading it and I wish you the best in getting it published in the near future!
9/18/2020 c13 Nori-san
I've decided to skip reviewing c12 and shall give my overall impression here after finishing the last chapter. Having read the entire story, I will be honest that the premise is good, the title clever but the pacing a little weaker that pulled the over-arching story down.

Throughout the story it is clear that Kevin Brooks is challenging against society's expectation by doing what he feels is right by him, even if it means taking the hard way (in real literal terms in his life after graduation). He is honest to a fault, naive and innocent man despite all the negativities he's been receiving from his friends, family and colleagues.

On the other hand, Alison Winters has been successful (as of c2, but we know how it went afterwards) and leading the lifestyle everyone has been envious of - but of course there is still a long way for her to go. Despite that, she carried herself with an air of maturity when faced with political situations at work (unlike Kevin), though she does show some indecisiveness when it comes to her personal life - the only trait she shared with Kevin.

The chemistry between these two is great, though I'm certain there is definitely more room for jazzing it up between them. The fact that Alison was introduced in c2 as Kevin's crush from the past was a little jarring when in c1 we see that Kevin got disappointed that his other crush (he has way too many crushes IMO, but that's a man's guilty pleasure so he's normal in a sense) got off with the school jock. If we have a little more of their backstory in c1 unfolded instead - be it casual mentions since it was a fact that Alison has left town early, or some interactions between one another, it would've delivered more impact to their romance.

The pacing which they interacted with each other could've been better mid to end of the story.
9/16/2020 c11 Nori-san
Oh damn Sam laying the burn on Chandler! This feels like the perfect recipe for Chandler to go ape-shit at Kevin and Alison in the next chapter but that's my guess.

The resolution ended faster than I thought it would, but I guess with things as it is Kevin would want to reaffirm his identity with Alison before completely breaking down. Reading this far in, I finally get Alison's purpose for coming back to this town and that suprised me, not in a bad way. I guess she just wants to face her shortcomings head-on too huh. That said, I still I'll appreciate it more if she had shown more hints of that earlier in the story to build her character up.

Now then, it's anyone's guess as to what they'll do in Teri's apartment...
9/16/2020 c10 Nori-san
You know it's a car crash when Chandler himself offered to assist Alison with Kevin. I like the direction the story is taking at this point, and Chandler does make some compelling statements too. In fact, I've recently read an opinion column on the newspaper echoing the same sentiments as Chandler on how hard work is no longer the important thing to be successful in this modern era.

Couple that with someone born into a wealthy/powerful family, a snobbish disaster is born which is Chandler himself. Kevin's lowest point has sunk even lower at this chapter and I kinda feel for him. However, my personal thoughts on the wordings is that there're too many "Damns" in his dialogue - I'd say it's almost once every sentence so might be good to change that up because it does get too repetitive especially in this chapter.

Nonetheless, one of the nicest chapter so far for me.
9/14/2020 c9 Nori-san
With the shoot all wrapped things are progressing at a quicker pace now. Kevin and Chandler has finally crossed paths but I'm amazed how Kevin hasn't realised his connection with Alison - but I reckon that will be the ultimatum to come in the coming chapters!

I'm genuinely amazed at how Bright was trying to look for out Kevin when he realised about the vid leak. Despite being all up and mighty throwing his weight around Kevin, he actually looks out for him too. Whether it was out of pity or otherwise that is really something only Bright knows.

Alison's fall might have also jeopardised Kevin's old injury to recur again but I hope that managed to wake her up a little on the expense she's racking up for her own sake of success.

Good chapter as always, the showdown is nigh!
9/13/2020 c8 Nori-san
First thing - i think near the second half you've had Chandler spelt Chandelier - not sure if that's his actual name?

This chapter is by far the heaviest in dialogue. Don't get me wrong, I love dialogues between characters because that's where their personalities are fleshed out the most (something light novels have and win hands down over novels, but that's my own biased take). I'm not sure why but reading exchanges between Kevin and Biff always sounds like a shouting match but I guess that's just how the father-son duo works out. It's real frustrating when you're trying out a path but everyone (especially family) pours you with negativity.

However, I think there's also a fine line to tread between being headstrong and taking in opinions from others. Like I said before Kevin needs to balance that, and we're seeing signs of it at this point.

And there's that Chandler that is definitely not good news. Nowadays with how social media is, Chandler could easily destroy Kevin but that's up to Alison to decide what she would do to protect her childhood friend.
9/10/2020 c7 Nori-san
Somehow this chapter makes me have a level of negativity towards Alison. I guess she's career driven to the point she's willing to burn a few bridges to make it work. That might not be the intended direction she wanted, but the underlying issue i have with her is the fact that she's not being frank with Kevin.
At this rate, it seems like Kevin's dancing to her tune - speaking of which, Kevin's desperado was summarised perfectly by Carlos. Reality is that sometimes hard work does not equate success. 7 chapters in and I can confidently say that Kevin is more of a hard worker than a smart worker which Carlos has stated. I do hope Kevin grows out of this phase and not be led around by his nose.
9/10/2020 c6 Nori-san
Ahh, I'm not comfortable of how Kevin's mind is spiralling towards. Despite keeping himself in check to be open about stuff, it seems like he's getting blinded altogether with how Alison is treating him.
Then again, Alison has her own set of flaws too. I won't account that to "playing" with Kevin, but the way she was indirect about things was bound to cause a wrong impression to Kevin.
Seems like a recipe for a train-wreck that's brewing…

Now that Bart's back, why do I get the feeling he'll be the first to know about Chandler and act as an external force to nudge Kevin and Alison's future interactions?
9/9/2020 c5 Nori-san
I guess this puts Chandler out of Alison's mind (or does it?). I have a feeling he's not entirely out of the picture but I'm not so sure about Alison's true intentions now. Even though it's unofficial between the two of them, I'm surprised at how coolly Alison is playing it off. Perhaps she wasn't really all into Chandler too, though that doesn't seem to be an advantage to Kevin either ways.

Also, given how both of them are gravely misunderstanding each other's intentions, I wonder how bad (good) this will play out given Cammy's being the one to direct Alison's interaction with Kevin.

On the other hand, Kevin's been trying play it cool but in reality he's really giving his all to hang out with Alison! This chapter is really all about Alison and I liked that we get to see a little more of her character.
9/8/2020 c4 Nori-san
Family drama got turned a knob higher here..and it's evident how Alison and Kevin thinks of each other. I really liked the part between Kevin and his dad laying it out about society and your "worth" based on the choices made since education.
That really hit home for me - I've wanted to be a story teller and manga artist but "you can't live off art" is what everyone nagged at me. Eventually I caved and took on an office job, leading me to write FSOS.
I'm glad Kevin is determined with his path but I also hope it doesn't blow up in his face because he does seem to have an air of naivety around him, especially with girls (but i guess who won't be excited to see an old crush and the concept of fate and destiny).

Alison has confirmed my suspicion so far, so time to grab my chips and see the drama unfold.
9/8/2020 c3 Nori-san
Alison would not be the type of person to mess with me.

Red flag planted! I have a small hunch that Alison has alot more things hidden from Kevin than we know. Her body language when meeting him, her contemplating if she should catch up with him again. I'm guessing she's surprised to see him, just that it's not enough to warrant a really hearty catch-up. And poor Kevin is going to play a one-sided affair (at least from what I'm seeing).

I'll say this part is where the ingredients to the sauce are prepared, let's see how their next encounter will be.
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