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7/25/2017 c9 21Marina x Machina
Ah yes. And now, the Tommy O' Hara.
7/25/2017 c11 Marina x Machina
This is like Gone Girl, but it's like, Gone Gay...
OH GOD
AUTHOR PLEASE HEAR ME OUT
REALLY I THINK WE COULD GO PLACES WITH THIS TITLE
4/14/2017 c12 3Fryvi
Ok, so that was hot.
Their relationship is really interesting! I'm really curious as to what will happen next.
I got a little bit confused about who was talking in the "this didn't actually happen in real life" part, since the perspective changed a bit, but yes very nice chapter :)
4/7/2017 c12 MorbidArtistLover
...I feel so sinfully happy right now.
4/24/2016 c11 A.R
I Just reread my last review and I apologize I meant so good (I'm late ik)
3/30/2016 c11 A.R
It's been almost 7 months. Do you plan on continuing thus story its no good
3/1/2016 c11 NHGal603
This is so evil, so fucked up, but so good!
1/12/2016 c1 5Whirlymerle
Hi there! Returning your review!

A quite note in terms of punctuating around dialogue. If it’s not a dialogue tag (he said, she said etc), then the stuff outside dialogue should be capitalized.
For example: [“No! Jesus Mackenzie!” and then he stood up] Should be: No! Jesus Mackenzie!” And then he stood up
[“I’m just surprised,” she tried a laugh but it sounded a little desperate “I used…] Should be: “I’m just surprised.” She tried a laugh but it sounded a little desperate. “I used

[She was strong and brave enough to walk home by herself] So I didn’t get the impression that where they live in particularly dangerous or unsafe. They live in a fishing village, no? Mackenzie is obviously not a child, so why is being “strong and brave” necessary?

I really like the way the way your setting. You say that their hometown is beautiful, and I definitely believe you with the imagery of the waves and pelicans. It’s very vivid and I like that a lot.

You make the story nicely complicated with Jesse’s father’s disability. Jesse has at least two struggles here, dealing with his bisexuality and working around his father. It would be interesting to see how they all play out!

Nice start!
12/11/2015 c9 3acumashindorballomu
Not that much happened in this chapter, it just served to showcase even more to what extent Louis would go with his manipulations and plotting. Although I don't really feel that sorry for Jesse and his jock friends that much, I am forced to admire how much of a genius Louis was in isolating Jesse from the shelter that was provided by his buddies. Now he's helpless and he will probably be broken in the same way Louis pretended to be, because the collective consciousness does not usually care about delving into details, and rather they'll just pick up whatever tragedy is fed to them, this is probably the biggest ace the blonde one has. :3
But seeing how we're left on a cliffhanger, one can only wonder to what extents the little mastermind went. We'll have to see soon!
12/2/2015 c2 17cm-away-from-you
I love love love it . . .just how the plot cleverly unfolds, I love it. I can't wait to see Jesse's vulnerable side.
12/1/2015 c11 2kyoselflove
Haha aw, Jesse couldn't help it and the reaction he got, love it.
12/1/2015 c11 3Fryvi
Oh myyy, this is so twisted and awesome at the same time! Blowing my mind!
12/1/2015 c8 3acumashindorballomu
I'm torn after this chapter...
I don't know whether I should congratulate Louis for being a genius of a mastermind, or I should feel utterly disgusted by how he stooped lower than his bullies and even Jesse himself. But having in mind what I told you about my past, I guess I'm tempted to go with the former just because I was in his situation, albeit it took less time to execute my plan. 3:)
Overall my biggest question was how he could resist so much physical pain, even when you're getting beaten up and you know you want that, somewhere inside your psyche still fears pain. He sure must've had a lot of endurance! xD
And at the end of the day, it was all in hopes that Jesse might be bi-curious? Well, seeing how Louis took BDSM to a whole new level with him enjoying and WANTING to be bullied by him, one can only guess how much pathology lies in here.
The one thing that truly disgusted me and made me not admire Louis however was... his view of the future. All that jealousy towards Jesse wanting to be happy. Here is a problem I will probably go later into more detail: if you care about someone, even if it's a straight crush, at the end of the day you resign and wish for THEIR happiness. Yes, it's not satisfying, but forgiveness can free you a lot from such struggles. Louis needs to learn this lesson, because playing the victim just for revenge won't bring him true satisfaction in the end. Sure, it may ease his hurt ego, but that's about it. I know, I was once there.
11/28/2015 c7 acumashindorballomu
Well, the ending line pretty much summed up the entire storm that is unleashing all the more upon them. When Jesse came to the realization that the reason he was hated was because Louis was still living in a past long gone, I could not help but feel sympathy for the guy. Is Louis a sociopath? Maybe. But if he is keeping this act just for attention, then one can imagine how twisted he can be, possibly twisted enough to become an antagonist? For some reason this seems both disgusting and appealing.
Jesse's descent into drunkenness was expected, as there was pretty much no other way one could cope with all this hatred. And of course, Louis proves his inner smugness with that Facebook post, to rouse compassion from others by faking his. With Jesse's father's business coming to a crash, one can wonder how deep the poor fellow will crash. Guess we'll have to wait and see.
11/25/2015 c6 acumashindorballomu
Well, you got 2 reactions from me, an expected one and a not-so-expected one.
For the expected one:
Louis was acting too kind and understanding at the start, Jesse's remorseful state was also the perfect catalyst. When everything seemed like it would lead to a nice cliche of sorry love, Louis indeed scored, as the title suggested, and played the victim card. This, coupled with the image he had built for himself was more than enough to antagonize Jesse and earn the sympathy of those around him. In a way I believe he gave himself and those around him the expected, although for Jesse it was definitely unexpected. A moment of weakness? Yes, one he abused too well.
Now for the unexpected one:
I was getting signals that nothing was wrong when Louis' mother was actually showing care to him, especially since his parents were built up as uncaring and arguing. And then the biggest shocker was the very ending, where Louis plays those audio samples at max. He actually made up the whole story of his parents arguing?! Seeing the extremes he goes for sympathy can make one wonder what he'll do next. And I thought Jesse was the monster...
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