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for The Zilos Chronicles Volume Two: Maelstrom of Rage

3/28 c25 38Starart152
This is a nice closer for Richard story. We see where one of the big confrontation will be in the next book against their enemies.
I'm enjoying Richard revelation of his identity and how it went better than he expected. He also lost only a few people by his side at the end, even if some were uncertain and struggled to stay with the group.
Next book will be for one of the most nasty plan to stop Ares in one big battle or the final battle of the story, depending on the next book goes.
12/21/2023 c24 Starart152
This is a good chapter that concluded a big part of this story. It focused on Richard getting his resolve to go beyond and be Richard and not his persona anymore.
Richard became much stronger after his pain and struggles after he lost so many things, but not, he is standing up and not alone.
12/5/2023 c23 Starart152
It is a very intense battle for this chapter against Troy. It had a lot of twist and turns, but Troy brute force lost against the power of Requiem and the others. The bastard never couldn't accept that he lost and perished in the end.

It was a well-made battle until the very end where it was Greymont and Requiem who defeated him by burning him into nothing remained.
9/25/2023 c12 19dmasterxd
Loved that scene with Richard and Kristen. Again, it’s nice for him to get at least leisure, even if only for a bit. Though I am worried. Hopefully Kristen doesn’t end up a hostage or something. My man needs that reward after all XD.

The fight against Turok and Branko was nice. They’re definitely very powerful. But my curiosity was especially piqued by them mentioning this powerful sealed entity as well as their reactions to Greymont. Feel like both of those things are going to play a huge role later on. Maybe their tribe is the key to Greymont’s memories? Glad to see that they become allies, even if it only ends up being temporary. Since Richard definitely needs all the help he can get for this mission. Also just as a little side note. Loved the brothers not understanding the idioms, haha.

Oh, Ares is here? Yeah...never mind. They’re screwed. It was looking pretty well when they were dealing with Cucuzza. But Ares is a whole other beast. Even with Turok and Branko there, he clearly doesn’t think anything of them either. Especially since he noticed their gecko disguises and just basically hand waved them. Big oof. They might be able to still find a way, but it’s definitely going to be very tough. Very excited to see where this battle against Ares goes.
9/24/2023 c11 dmasterxd
I’m not sure how well the mission is going to go when there’s clearly still a lot of tension amongst the Ravens. But at least Richard was able to get them to come along if nothing else. Hopefully they’ll be able to stop the Ibis Corps from getting the Dragon Helix Emerald, but they’re going to have to really come together to have a chance of that. Hoping for the best.

Thank goodness that Kristen was okay. Was really worried about that. The last thing Richard needs right now is someone so close to him dying. And I was really happy to see Richard at least be able to be happy on the inside, despite not being able to show it outwardly. He definitely needed this. Feels like seeing Kristen again really reminded him of his humanity. And she also gave some good advice, so maybe hers will get through to him more than Dan’s did.

The scene with Richard’s family also did a really good job at showing the parallel with King Zandross and Richard himself with his Requiem persona. It really made it clear what Richard’s future could potentially be if doesn’t heed all of the warnings he’s been given. Even Zandross’ own family is afraid of him.

Curious too see what’s up with these two shapeshifting brothers. Because more problems for the CTR is only going end badly I feel. They’ve already got enough to deal with as is. ;
9/24/2023 c10 dmasterxd
Phew, lots of intense back and forth here. There were hints of truth on both Richard’s and Troy’s sides, but they both handled it terribly. Though no one was speaking more truth than Dan. It was good that he was able to mediate the fight even if only somewhat. Can’t help but feel like a lot of the other Ravens are going to have what Richard did to Troy stuck in their minds though.

Really liked Dan doing his best to try and defuse the situation. He didn’t just stop after he broke up the fight. He noticed the lingering after effects and talked to both Troy and Richard one-on-one. Very smart and kind of him. Unfortunately neither of them really seem to want to take his advice and cooperate. Cracks were already starting to form in previous chapters and at this point it seems like it’s only getting worse. To the point it feels like the CTR is pretty much gonna break up. Especially since Dan is gradually losing his patience with Richard himself. And to his credit, he has tried. A lot. I can’t even blame if he does leave sadly. It’s be hard to see him and Richard end up as enemies but it’s really looking like a possibility.

I also really liked the exchange between Richard and Roxanne. Nice to see him try and get through to her. Also, Justice Ranger Pink? Is that a Power Rangers reference? XD Excited for Richard to meet up with Kristen again. Maybe that’ll help him out a bit? Concerned for what’s going to happen on this next Ibis Corps mission though.
7/28/2023 c22 38Starart152
This is a good action chapter where the bad guys went down except for Troy who showed his true nature. He is obviously going down in the end, but what would be the price for victory. He seemed to be worse than the Ibis Corps, but it only seemed to be at the surface.

Poor Greymont, he got mind controlled over Troy, which was not something I expected. Even so, I have a feeling that the true master of Greymon isn't Troy, but Diamond Dome.
2/17/2023 c21 Starart152
This was a fun chapter where we saw that hope remained for our heroes as Requiem came back in time to save his allies and friends.
The flow of the battle was well put and I like how Requiem is calmer and seems deadlier than he was before he recovered from his defeat.
12/17/2022 c20 Starart152
This is an interesting chapter where things are really getting south for the Crimson Raven. It seems like there is still hope, with the info we got at the beginning of this chapter for the darkest moments of the end of this chapter.
11/26/2022 c26 JaveHarron
A few new details added here, but otherwise similar to the first one. Are these databases from an in-world source? Or perhaps should they be taken as unreliable narrator on some respects? That can be a fun worldbuilding trick sometimes.
11/26/2022 c25 JaveHarron
This epilogue was more of an infodump of talking heads than either a cliffhanger or wrap up to plot threads. A lot of this information could have been folded into your earlier chapters quite easily. The spelling errors detract from immersion and scene quality as well. Hoping next one is best.
11/26/2022 c24 JaveHarron
I did like Ortega's fate here, especially with the spell cast. The application of mind effecting spells is something I'd think Roxanne would also be wary of. Do criminals in this world use it to have patsies commit crimes on their behalf? Are there limitations in how these powers work? What sort of counters might there be to such things? Otherwise, why didn't the first mind control masters simply do what Ares did now, and worm their way up to the highest authority around?
11/26/2022 c23 JaveHarron
Well, I ended up liking Yuen a lot more than I thought I would. That said, though, this still seems as a very Pyrrhic victory. The lack of creative flourishes and pacing slows down what should be a dramatic showdown. Nothing I have not already said elsewhere.
11/26/2022 c22 JaveHarron
Okay, Troy's breakdown here could have been streamlined. It's clear by now that character is an irredeemable creep. Similarly to a prior reviewer of yours, he's coming across as a Steiner 2.0, in that he's a big brute and lunkhead manipulated by people smarter than him. Oh, and one line I find funny: "Scans do indicate that the new device is emitting something that effects brainwaves." I could discuss neuromodulation modalities, but the grammar and spelling need work first.
11/25/2022 c21 JaveHarron
The Voltaire and detective exchange was probably my favorite part, although even that could use a pass through an editor. The pacing is all over the place, with each cliffhanger being a jumble where it should be a period. The battle you build up to should be a bit more dramatic, when it feels more like a pre-flight checklist. Hoping the actual battle is better composed.
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