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for ExoGenesis

9/13/2017 c5 2jackthebaxter
You manage to keep a good balance between explaining what's happening and not explaining enough to make everything clear, so I've spent the whole time having an inkling about what's going on without knowing any of the details or why.
While I definitely enjoyed this chapter, I feel like you've introduced some potentially very interesting characters and then killed them off or moved past them without going into enough detail about them, similar to Sarcoteur. Unless, of course, you're going to reintroduce the survivors later. I just think that maybe another chapter or so at the compound would have helped to flesh things out (if you'll pardon the pun) and make the deaths more meaningful.
Minor nitpicking: I think you used the word 'struck' a bit too often in the fights. It just started to jump out at me near the end.
Overall, you've continued to tease me with new information and developments enough that I can't wait to see where it goes next, so keep it up :)
3/19/2017 c1 jackthebaxter
I have to post this review for Chapter 1, because I've already reviewed the others and am not allowed to review those:
A definite improvement over the first Chapter 3. This one flows much more smoothly. I'm guessing this takes place in some dystopian future where some electronic attack sabotaged a cybernetic colony and wiped most memories, possibly on a space station or other planet, given his strange dream-like memories. Maybe a robot uprising?
I really like the way you give enough description about the setting and how it works to have a loose idea of what's going on, but nothing more than that. Really interested in seeing where you go from here.
10/3/2016 c3 jackthebaxter
I'm glad you're continuing this story. I liked the hints about his past and some mission he's on, and the way you implied things rather than just outright stating them. I found the fight to be quite difficult to follow, given that every machine is described as 'the other machine' at least once (although it being a while since I read the previous chapters and not really remembering how they were described was probably part of that). Looking forward to whatever comes next :)
5/8/2016 c2 jackthebaxter
Wow, I'm really loving this!
I love your writing, and the way you have just enough undescribed to leave it to our imaginations. Sarcoteur was such an interesting character. I really hope you do some more on story.
11/26/2015 c1 1Dark Cyborg
It is interesting.
Do continue.
I want to know more.
It's VERY intriguing...

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