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for Next Ocean Away

8/8/2016 c1 167nickyO
I like the use of 'sempiternity', with the blackened soul-used together it makes me think of the blackness of space, that image of outer space, and then think that you are describing the universe and acknowledging that there would be some sort of pain or cost or maybe even heartlessness to being eternal as the universe is eternal.

It makes me think and it is a beautifully rendered poem. Well done!
1/4/2016 c1 8LorrahBear
Although short, this feels very expansive. You made some wonderful diction choices. Well done!
12/21/2015 c1 6Victoria Best
Hello!

Wow, I really loved this! Very beautiful piece of poetry. My favourite line was the "across the blackened soul of sempiternity" however the line "to the next ocean away" was equally beautiful and powerful.

There was also something very moving about this poem. I felt it on an emotional level, which I think is proof of a great piece of writing. It just tugged at my heart, you know? The serenity of the image, the smooth feel of the lines and the gorgeous vocabulary, all melded to create something imaginative and special. I will remember this one for a long time to come. The only problem with it is that it is too short! I would have loved to read more.

It was also incredibly original - I have never before seen a sentence even remotely similar to "stars twinkle teardrops." There was something very refreshing about reading this sentence - I love its originality, a real breath of fresh air. I am so used to seeing stars being described as "diamonds" or "studs" or "piercing the night sky" so to see them described as this felt unique and special.

A great poem and I would love to read more. You're certainly a talented writer!

Keep writing!

Vicky
12/13/2015 c1 5TVH Bookfan
This seems like a good haiku. I don't write them because I keep forgetting the rules and I'm not good at counting syllables, but I might still attempt writing one someday.
Some of the language you use can sound a little difficult to understand, but other than that, it seems well-written. Good luck on any future poems.
12/12/2015 c1 Guest
This poem takes me to the Hladsy and still ocean ocean in my mind, sitting in a wooden boat i am reading the countless glittering stars trying to read the countless possible directions that these stars will navigate me towards, staring in wonder and isolation at its beauty.

Another beautiful poem princessanna, thank you.

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