for Soldier's lament1/8/2016 c1 Mare Kade
That last verse was very moving. Especially having five lines where everything else has four brings it more attention and a sort of conclusion. I'm rambling, whatever, but overall, this is beautiful. The only thing is that the rhythm in the last segment is thrown off just a tad. Maybe shortening "over" to "o'er" to shorten the number of syllables in the first line "When over tattered..."
That last verse was very moving. Especially having five lines where everything else has four brings it more attention and a sort of conclusion. I'm rambling, whatever, but overall, this is beautiful. The only thing is that the rhythm in the last segment is thrown off just a tad. Maybe shortening "over" to "o'er" to shorten the number of syllables in the first line "When over tattered..."
1/10/2016 c1 
4roachpiece
That was really well though gut out and very deep...
The third stanza, and then the very last line were my favorites. Very inspirational and true.
4roachpieceThat was really well though gut out and very deep...
The third stanza, and then the very last line were my favorites. Very inspirational and true.