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for Skip's Poem

1/24/2016 c1 4laurenelisemcdaniel
This is really nice. Beautifully written. When I first saw Skip's name, I felt a connection. You see, my band teacher's close friend taught Skip music, and when they heard what happened to him, they started this organization called BandTogetherForSkip. So now, our whole band wears little hand-bands with his name to honor his memory.
1/22/2016 c1 19Ckh
I am not sure what to say about this poem.
But its close to what I define as good
Just not the usual type of poem I'm used to.

Welp, great job on capturing the emotions too I guess.
1/22/2016 c1 6Victoria Best
Wow, this was a wonderful poem. I am seriously impressed by the quality of your writing. There was so much emotion captured here, and I felt every line. That's powerful writing, when every line can leave the reader moved. As well as impact, it also carried with it so much meaning. Lines such as, "a nation's hardship," turn the piece into something that is not only emotive, but thought-provoking, as it raises relevant political questions.

I love the focus on sounds, not just sights. "The sound of my children," and "a single mother weeps." This was certainly a unique idea and I appreciate the time and skill it must have taken to fit so many descriptive lines in with the rhyming scheme.

The structure was excellent. I love that you go back to the line "but a round in my chamber, and a rail on my hip," at the end. This section, for me, was the highlight of the piece. So much rawness and power in those two lines.

However, when reading, I felt the lines "to tribute your comradeship" and "now you sail heaven's ships," both felt a little long, harsh-sounding and clumsy when compared with the rest of the poem, and seemed a little long and out-of-place to fit the structure. I am not sure if I found this just because of how I was reading it, but maybe read through to double-check it all flows, just in case.

Congrats on a wonderful poem! Keep writing!
1/10/2016 c1 4TheScruffyPoet
Each time I've read this I cannot help but to sing it in my head. The rhythm crescendos towards the end and I almost feel as if it ends all too abruptly. But then, perhaps that's intent. A life gone before it's time. A poem finished before it reaches it's climax.
1/9/2016 c1 8LorrahBear
You've done a fantastic job conveying emotion in such a short time. This flows really well and was very well done. Great job.

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