for 3657/29/2019 c1 
19Ckh
This extract doesn't quite work as a one piece - there are too many distracting worldbuilding details scattered about, though I imagine that I'll work wonderfully as an actual scene in a manuscript. The main focus of this short story was the acid snow (?), and you illustrated it beautifully.
I doubt that there was actual acid snow outside a window, but a writer can take as many liberties from prompts as they want. On a side note, Lexi doesn't feel like a boring protagonist to read. I'll like to see her adventures someday - before hiatus gets me.
Minor typo: upon thinking (of) the word hope
Unless you purposely omitted the 'of'
19CkhThis extract doesn't quite work as a one piece - there are too many distracting worldbuilding details scattered about, though I imagine that I'll work wonderfully as an actual scene in a manuscript. The main focus of this short story was the acid snow (?), and you illustrated it beautifully.
I doubt that there was actual acid snow outside a window, but a writer can take as many liberties from prompts as they want. On a side note, Lexi doesn't feel like a boring protagonist to read. I'll like to see her adventures someday - before hiatus gets me.
Minor typo: upon thinking (of) the word hope
Unless you purposely omitted the 'of'