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5/22/2017 c3 Juan Gonzalez
Wow. This story paints a beautiful world filled with war, loss and mythical creatures. This story is as marvelous as the ones told by Tolkien, and others. The imagery created in each stroke of Bors axe is marvelous. I honestly can't say anything nicer about this marvelous story.
5/10/2016 c2 19Ckh
Ancient tech and magics huh? Kinda like Alantis, but you can be drawing inspiration from elsewhere as well

I like the world you are going for here, and I hope to see more expansion upon this.

Dialogue is on point too. Its a bit lengthy, but it does not manage to overstay its welcome. Instead, it manages to capture the characters and a bit of lore, so dialogue is pretty good.
5/10/2016 c1 Ckh
Your action scenes are well done. They have the descriptive and generally "active" atmosphere around them, and if you are going for a warlike/medival style, well you got it.

Can't say much in terms of plot yet as these sort of things have to tendency to deviate later on in the book. (So we will have to wait and see)

Good job you.
5/7/2016 c2 2jackthebaxter
I really like this. Your descriptions are great and I like the fight scenes. So far a lot has been hinted at without being explained in an info-dump and there's obviously a detailed history behind events.
It seems a bit strange that Kael claims they couldn't kill the elves if they had a thousand lifetimes to try, yet Rikard, Anelia and Bor each kill large numbers of them in chapter 1.
Overall, it's a good set-up, it promises lots of action to come (I'm betting the magical automatons become important later on) and it also leave the mystery of how Bor survived (...or did he?).
Can't wait to see what happens next.
5/3/2016 c1 8LorrahBear
What a fantastic first chapter! I really enjoyed everything you wrote, and only have one suggestion - Generally, you would use a full quotation mark when people are speaking (").

Other than that, I really enjoyed this. You've captured my attention and really drawn me in to the world you've created. I hope you continue!
3/13/2016 c2 Vorink
Nicely written, very descriptive. My only complaint is to perhaps add chapter headings and maybe a date or something. The jump in time from chapter 1 to chapter 2 was a bit confusing until about halfway through this page.

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