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for As the Lights Aboard the Maddy Quintana Flicker Out

4/6/2016 c1 16The Shadow's Bane
Whooooooaaaa so cool. I like it, more please.
3/23/2016 c1 2LostCriesofTime
Ooooooh this is cool. I love sci fi and have been shifting through this site for some decent sci fi which I could get immersed in. I really like your story, the characters are cool as far I can tell, although I don't feel like I know a whole load of them yet but the fact you've got me wanting to shows that you're introductory chapter is a success. You have an excellent ability to create an atmosphere with your writing, its not just that I can see this playing out before my eyes as I read, but I feel I can sense it too, if that makes sense? This is probably down to your in depth descriptions. I love some good description (although not tooooo much, as then it stilts the flow and progress of the story) and you found a good balance here, immersing me into your fictional world without overwhelming me with meaningless detail.

I look forward to the next installment and finding out if everyone made it home in tact. I do hope there are no people floating in the atmosphere or stuck in walls :P
Best of luck with your writing :D
3/23/2016 c1 2philosophik1
Hey there, glad to see reviews are returned How are ya? I'm going to give you some constructive criticism, hopefully it helps. I think you should have someone read your piece to you out loud, and take note where they stumble, and then revise it to help the flow. At times i felt the wordiness was cumbersome and the metaphors were off, I mean, I could see what you were trying to do, you just need to be consice when the extra stuff isn't needed though. Practice, practice, practice. You just got keep on writing and dont be afraid to fail, and a great story will follow. You have the ability, as this piece proves. Cheers! Happy Writing!
3/22/2016 c1 Tara Zane
A strong, well written prologue to what is sure to become a great novel! I've little advice to give at this point, but will be eagerly following for the next chapter. Happy writing!

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