for It's Been A Long Night5/19/2016 c1 Nikki Oly
This is one of those increasingly rare hidden gems on Fictionpress. Not only well-written but the characters are engaging, easy to relate to - and it's an original aspect to be told about the medical perspective, written by someone who either did their research or works in the profession. A lot of stories I've read on FP for years focus on relationships between colleagues at offices with undefined business. So I like the direct layout here. I wish this was more than a one shot but understand how it's also perfect as it is, letting readers imagine the rest.
This is one of those increasingly rare hidden gems on Fictionpress. Not only well-written but the characters are engaging, easy to relate to - and it's an original aspect to be told about the medical perspective, written by someone who either did their research or works in the profession. A lot of stories I've read on FP for years focus on relationships between colleagues at offices with undefined business. So I like the direct layout here. I wish this was more than a one shot but understand how it's also perfect as it is, letting readers imagine the rest.
5/1/2016 c1 
8LorrahBear
This seems like it has a lot of potential. I enjoy how your characters interact with each other, and how you show their personalities through that.
At times, I struggled to figure out when and where this story is taking place. Clearly, they're students in a hospital, but it doesn't seem to match anything like what we go through, and the reference to "box 5" instead of "room 5" (or even the name) is awkward.
Additionally, you might go through and decide how often you choose to or not to use contractions. When you never use them, it makes things feel overly formal, which contrasts with the way your characters interact with each other.
I hope you continue writing!
8LorrahBearThis seems like it has a lot of potential. I enjoy how your characters interact with each other, and how you show their personalities through that.
At times, I struggled to figure out when and where this story is taking place. Clearly, they're students in a hospital, but it doesn't seem to match anything like what we go through, and the reference to "box 5" instead of "room 5" (or even the name) is awkward.
Additionally, you might go through and decide how often you choose to or not to use contractions. When you never use them, it makes things feel overly formal, which contrasts with the way your characters interact with each other.
I hope you continue writing!