for Defenseless9/14/2016 c1 
10Cowboy-4-Christ
Yikes. Though I know quite a few girls who I wouldn't be surprised if they carried knives.
10Cowboy-4-ChristYikes. Though I know quite a few girls who I wouldn't be surprised if they carried knives.
4/23/2016 c1 16RaisingDad
Alfred Hitchcock used to publish suspense magazines and books that featured, um, suspense stories and mysteries. I could very easily see this story featured in them. And, hey, I was just as surprised as those college guys were when she pulled out that Bowie knife.
16RaisingDadAlfred Hitchcock used to publish suspense magazines and books that featured, um, suspense stories and mysteries. I could very easily see this story featured in them. And, hey, I was just as surprised as those college guys were when she pulled out that Bowie knife.
4/23/2016 c1 8LorrahBear
This is a really solid first chapter. You've definitely caught my attention, and I'm so interested to learn more about your character and her ability to protect herself at such young age.
Initially, I was confused because I misread your summary, and thought she was an eleven year old, and was like "no way is this an eleven year old!" So on that note, I would say you've done a great job of making your character young, but not too young. She definitely reads like you intended.
Only one typo that I noticed: "...cursing herself as [every] type of obvious fool..."
8LorrahBearThis is a really solid first chapter. You've definitely caught my attention, and I'm so interested to learn more about your character and her ability to protect herself at such young age.
Initially, I was confused because I misread your summary, and thought she was an eleven year old, and was like "no way is this an eleven year old!" So on that note, I would say you've done a great job of making your character young, but not too young. She definitely reads like you intended.
Only one typo that I noticed: "...cursing herself as [every] type of obvious fool..."
4/20/2016 c1 26Zukafu Chiriamoto
Well, I didn't expect a turn quite like that... Excuse me as I sit a little awestruck from the sheer badassery... Okay, better now.
I thought this was a really descriptive piece, rife with tension and dramatic atmosphere.
I really really liked it. Happy writing!
~ Zukafu
26Zukafu ChiriamotoWell, I didn't expect a turn quite like that... Excuse me as I sit a little awestruck from the sheer badassery... Okay, better now.
I thought this was a really descriptive piece, rife with tension and dramatic atmosphere.
I really really liked it. Happy writing!
~ Zukafu
4/19/2016 c1 51Brievel
Oh. 0_0 Wow. The writing is riveting... although the names show a distinctly Western tint. o_0 xD
51BrievelOh. 0_0 Wow. The writing is riveting... although the names show a distinctly Western tint. o_0 xD
4/19/2016 c1 70BradytheJust
Jeez, put that frogsticker away! Just hold on...
*goes behind alleyway and beats the heck out of the college boys*
Okay onto the review: I really liked how you used the line "Faced down the pack" it really made it feel like she was being hunted. I also liked how you said "Steel nerve and steel blade"
Your writing was wonderful as always and you really put a lot of emotion into your character. Great job my friend :)
70BradytheJustJeez, put that frogsticker away! Just hold on...
*goes behind alleyway and beats the heck out of the college boys*
Okay onto the review: I really liked how you used the line "Faced down the pack" it really made it feel like she was being hunted. I also liked how you said "Steel nerve and steel blade"
Your writing was wonderful as always and you really put a lot of emotion into your character. Great job my friend :)