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9/9/2018 c26 4CalvinHobbesGatsby
This is a good story so far, keep it up
12/19/2017 c1 TheUrbanWriter
favorited. loved it. :)
8/1/2016 c1 1Ryanb9876
I liked this read quite a bit. In no bad way, it kind of reminded me of a comic book. I can almost read "BLAM or KAPOW" into the action hehe. The characters are colourful and fun, and they do well in a setting that seems like it'll shape up to be pretty dystopic. The narration is nice and light with those rhetorical questions, but the story still has a nice bit of grit to it. This is well written, and from what I've read of the next chapter it looks like the trend will continue! Well done!
6/14/2016 c1 1GloryInResurrection
Now this is what I call f**king amazing!
I seriously love this story. Good grammar, nice plot and amazing characters. Please continue to update the story.
6/13/2016 c5 8Mammon
Very nicely done! The characters have a lot of depth, which makes them seem realistic, and they interact well with each other which makes it even better. The dialogue comes off as natural without coming off as being exposition. There are a LOT of characters,though, and for some people that might be a turn off (as a huge fan of Stephen King myself, however, it's something I'm used to and have no problem with).

It seems to me that you have quite a bit of knowledge concerning weapons and the military, which adds a whole new level of verisimilitude to your story, and is, in all honesty, impressive.

I look forward to seeing some big twist coming through and seeing all your characters thrown into turmoil. And the horror/supernatural fanatic in me hopes something really weird will happen, but even if it doesn't, that's okay too.

Also, and I mean this as a compliment, I get a very strong "Metal Gear" vibe from the whole thing so far (a very good thing, I assure you).

One thing I would advise avoiding is cursing in your narrative (even if it's something like using the word "damn" or "bitchy") when it isn't a character speaking. Having a straight forward, faceless narrator who can at times be very analytical suddenly turn their voice into a more "personal tone" can sometimes break immersion unless the narrator is an obvious, identifiable person.
6/7/2016 c3 1Charizrd
Man was there a lot of action packed into that, and more interesting characters added to the fray! I also like the POV switch, I find it interesting that all of the characters are important enough to the story that they can take over for a while and it still stays interesting enough to continue. And once again, your characters are all really fleshed out and I love that. Plot is a huge aspect to a story, but you gotta have good characters to work with a good plot and you have both of those! I'll be look forward to an update (:
6/7/2016 c2 Charizrd
I love that all the characters have their own backstory to them, and not only that but how they grew up bleeds into how they are now, I think that's really cool considering that's usually how real people are, and it makes them seem like actual people rather than just characters. Very interesting so far, can't wait to see what the next chapter has!
6/7/2016 c1 Charizrd
This is off to a great start, and I have to say I love the your style of writing. I also love that Pluto seems to have dealt with this kind of stuff before, but it's still fresh enough that it bothers him, it really fleshes out his character and I'm a huge sucker to good characterization. This has already got me hooked and I can't wait to see what else you've got in store
6/5/2016 c1 10V.Ohara
A very fun read! Your POV kept switching from Pluto to Tank but for whatever reason it didn't distract from the piece at all.

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