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for Daring the Good Girl

5/4/2019 c13 Guest
Awesome! Can u finish it pls? ..its so realistic
10/16/2017 c13 22PassionateStylus
Please don't give up on this story and keep the chapters coming.

Aside from the technical aspects such as forgetting small words or mixing up past and present tense (which doesn't happen often enough to damage the story), you have really good writing. I love the personality of the characters and how they can bounce off of each other so easily and naturally. From the direction this is taking, I'm excited to see how it'll end. However, Melody's monologue coming out of the principal's office when deciding how to break the news to Orion doesn't make a whole lot of sense. You'd just established in a previous chapter that Orion threw out the dare game, so why does she think it is still a thing? I might have missed that part, which is likely considering how I just finished plowing through all of the chapters and it's nearly two am at the time I'm writing this review. Perhaps you could look it over and make it a little more clear?

Also, in regards to chapter nine and ten, I do have one problem with their lead-in to the events. It kind of felt like they were too similar, almost as though you copied the lead for one and pasted it in the other. I know that they are discussing slightly different scenes, but since they are regarding the same incident and are presented with the same ambiguity before the re-run of what happened two days previously, I think it can be a little confusing for the reader. I almost thought I'd refreshed the page instead of clicking to the next chapter. Again, just a nit-pick on my part.

I hope that this helps you out in some way and that you don't take offense. If you would like me to give you some examples from your story of what I'm talking about or want me to give a more in-depth analysis of your story, please feel free to send a PM my way and I'll be happy to help. For now, I'm ending this review before it stretches out any longer and probably getting some sleep. Keep up the good work and I am definitely adding this to my follow list. Look forward to speaking with you when you have the chance.
8/14/2017 c13 Guest
I dare you to...update! I really enjoy your story and would love to read more when you are able to write again.
7/31/2017 c13 snazzyunicorn
Hi. I hope you're doing okay. And if you're not that's okay too. I miss you and your updates. I need to know what happens with Henry and Carmichael. You've got this.
5/1/2017 c13 2Eyrine
Another great chapter, thank you for your hard work on this! I know exactly how it feels like to be overwhelmed by school and work and stuff so best luck to you, and I can't wait to see how their story will continue.
4/22/2017 c13 2angeldoe
such a cute story i love it :)
4/4/2017 c13 Guest
Why didn't she tell him?! Aaaahhh
New reader here; addicted to your story and the characters :)
3/29/2017 c13 Guest
Love this , please write note
3/25/2017 c13 Guest
Dear friend
Good 2 have u back with the story . waiting 2 see how Henry is gonna deal with animals ...please keep on writing .BEST WISHES ! ;-)
3/23/2017 c13 Bahati
Melody is so sweet, I love her. I'm really curious about Henry's story, so far there's nothing, not
even about his 's so secretive
3/12/2017 c13 TheVelvetQueen
I don't think I've ever loved a character more than Melody. I love how her honest simplistic responses get under Bianca's skin and wow Orion is so falling for her my gosh. It's getting harder and harder for him to stop thinking about her ooh la la. Can't wait to read more. I'm so happy you finally updated.
3/12/2017 c13 Who cares21
Hey! I'm glad your back and really enjoyed the new chapter. I love reading how Orion and Mel interact and think they're so so adorable. Can't wait to read what happens next :)
1/30/2017 c12 guest
please update!
1/30/2017 c12 Tailor Maid
Waiting for the next chappy :) this story is great and I can't wait to see what happens next.
1/22/2017 c11 13Shailaputri
To be honest I don't think his habit of using other girls as distraction doesn't seems to be heroic action. Being popular and good looking are not a great qualities if he doesn't have a straight mind. She is great. Poor girl .
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