for The Lovers8/25/2016 c1 
25sprinkled clean
Hi! This part may not be counted toward the depth review but I wanted to say it anyways: As a reader, I wanted to see what you meant by a 'perfectly normal marriage' and how it falls apart in a 'perfectly normal way,' which you put in your summary. Sadly, I did not see how the marriage was 'perfectly normal.' There are many ways or little bits you could have included to make me believe that there was a marriage going on aside from the fact that your couple was watching TV, as narrated in Part II. Maybe that was the point you were trying to make, that a perfectly normal marriage is something so fragile and can only be represented by a couple watching TV together while the guy isn't even listening to his wife, all before it falls apart. If that is the case, that kind of message wasn't too clear to me.
I did like the opening scene or Part I, because I was expecting it to be the couple but it wasn't. So introducing the "problem" at the beginning of story set a nice pace. I also liked other subtle parts, like that time when you wrote how Gloria's eyes darkened a bit at the mention of "He started it," because it conveyed what I thought was some sort of sadness or bitterness from her character. I could picture that perfectly. Plus, in Part IV when Christine says sorry and George grins again, I also could picture that happening and got some dark humour from George's character, as if he were saying, "You should be sorry, you wench." Or something like that.
I also thought it was good how you included an object (in this case, the walls, also the colour of the walls) because you were able to use it in a way that it added some symbolism to the story, especially how it was presented in Part II (Mark was staring at them), and you connected it to the ending.
Part V was quite messy to me, however, and I have to think about whom he broke up with. I'm pretty sure it's Christine, because you made it quite explicit in the beginning that it was on a Saturday he was with his lover. It's also unclear to me if he's gonna divorce his wife, too, if his final action meant something negative. Maybe it's just me as a reader who can't always read between the lines.
25sprinkled cleanHi! This part may not be counted toward the depth review but I wanted to say it anyways: As a reader, I wanted to see what you meant by a 'perfectly normal marriage' and how it falls apart in a 'perfectly normal way,' which you put in your summary. Sadly, I did not see how the marriage was 'perfectly normal.' There are many ways or little bits you could have included to make me believe that there was a marriage going on aside from the fact that your couple was watching TV, as narrated in Part II. Maybe that was the point you were trying to make, that a perfectly normal marriage is something so fragile and can only be represented by a couple watching TV together while the guy isn't even listening to his wife, all before it falls apart. If that is the case, that kind of message wasn't too clear to me.
I did like the opening scene or Part I, because I was expecting it to be the couple but it wasn't. So introducing the "problem" at the beginning of story set a nice pace. I also liked other subtle parts, like that time when you wrote how Gloria's eyes darkened a bit at the mention of "He started it," because it conveyed what I thought was some sort of sadness or bitterness from her character. I could picture that perfectly. Plus, in Part IV when Christine says sorry and George grins again, I also could picture that happening and got some dark humour from George's character, as if he were saying, "You should be sorry, you wench." Or something like that.
I also thought it was good how you included an object (in this case, the walls, also the colour of the walls) because you were able to use it in a way that it added some symbolism to the story, especially how it was presented in Part II (Mark was staring at them), and you connected it to the ending.
Part V was quite messy to me, however, and I have to think about whom he broke up with. I'm pretty sure it's Christine, because you made it quite explicit in the beginning that it was on a Saturday he was with his lover. It's also unclear to me if he's gonna divorce his wife, too, if his final action meant something negative. Maybe it's just me as a reader who can't always read between the lines.