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for Might of Morrighan

7/21/2016 c1 Rouge the man
I like the tone of this story. Start the story with a scene of violence and death, it always catches people's attention. The death is more tragic than in the other story where Jessica's father got killed while being mugged; here Erin's husband died during a monster attack that laid waste to the entire city. And there are numerous monsters attacking a city instead of one mugger, so looks like this is an organized attack with hidden intention which I'm sure will be revealed in the next chapters.

I have to nitpick on your engineering, though. Auto windshield is made from laminated glass or acrylic so when it fractures it does not crumble. It may hurt you but it will not kill you. The fact that Fergus is killed by the glass and Erin uses it to combat the monster tells me that the truck's windshield is made from regular window glass. Nobody uses regular glass as car windshield in a century, unless you assume that the technology in this story is equivalent to that of early 1900.
7/20/2016 c1 1Tomoyuki Tanaka
So...where are the reigning mages who did nothing to stop the attack?

I can sympathize with Erin, but frankly, if she blames everything on the mages instead of actually doing something more practical (like being a Dearg-du hunter), she's going to come across as a self-centered person who does nothing but blame others, with the mages being the scapegoat. I'm not sure, it's akin to blaming the Democrats or the police for not stopping a murder when a burglar breaks into your home in the countryside in the middle of the night. Rather than joining the rebels and defying the police or government, maybe she can be more practical by installing safeguards against burglars and murderers? Campaign for more liberal possession of arms (sarcasm)? I don't know?

Of course, this is just the prologue (or first chapter) so I suspect there's more to her reason to rebel than her husband killed by the Dearg-du. Maybe like the unsympathetic authorities who get in her way of dealing justice, I don't know. I'll have to wait and see. I do have to laugh, you said Erin loses everyone she knows and loves, but the only person she lost here is her husband. I was expecting...I dunno, a village raid? All her family including her parents, siblings and neighbors slaughtered by the Dearg-du? And while she runs for help, a nearby group of mages merely stand impassively at one side, not at all bothered to help while the commoners are being slaughtered in front of their eyes. I was imagining that when I read the synopsis, but the first chapter seemed a bit underwhelming in terms of motivating Erin to rebel...unless she loses even more family members and loved ones in the next chapter.

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