for Hyper Fighter2/19/2017 c6 
19dmasterxd
Haha wow, I love Rock. He always makes me laugh. He's a good friend. Still this Dekarum is a jerk, so hopefully Kevin and Rock can take him down together. Well, can't wait to see where this goes, nice chapter!
19dmasterxdHaha wow, I love Rock. He always makes me laugh. He's a good friend. Still this Dekarum is a jerk, so hopefully Kevin and Rock can take him down together. Well, can't wait to see where this goes, nice chapter!
2/18/2017 c5 dmasterxd
Really good fight this chapter with Hemol and Zek, some nice strategies going on. I also liked the shift of focus from Kevin to Hemol here, starting to get some more depth to him with seeing his family life and all.
Good chapter!
Really good fight this chapter with Hemol and Zek, some nice strategies going on. I also liked the shift of focus from Kevin to Hemol here, starting to get some more depth to him with seeing his family life and all.
Good chapter!
2/17/2017 c12 6Darth Zannacross
Well...Hemol is a punk. And romance is causing friendship troubles already, uh oh. Great...she is one of THOSE girlfreinds...this is giving me vibes of part 4 from Jojo. Wait...I think the girl in Jojo used her hair to, or at least her Stand did. Well...this seems like its heading for a messy break up, we will see.
6Darth ZannacrossWell...Hemol is a punk. And romance is causing friendship troubles already, uh oh. Great...she is one of THOSE girlfreinds...this is giving me vibes of part 4 from Jojo. Wait...I think the girl in Jojo used her hair to, or at least her Stand did. Well...this seems like its heading for a messy break up, we will see.
2/15/2017 c1 11Madcinder
First thought. Not sure blood pisses.
So he's short AND has a small stature. Double Diminutive! He's gotta be, like, three feet tall.
...I wrote that last line before reading the next sentence. I can't believe I was right. He's a legit midget. That's a first.
I have to be honest, this wasn't very easy to read. It really needs someone to go through and correct a lot of words that are just, well, the wrong word.
There's a lot of cliches mashed together here in so many ways, and it's hard to tell from just the first chapter whether or not they're going to make the story better or worse. Most of them can be worked to better the story, but aren't looking so optimistic.
I do appreciate the Beetleman, though. That's something I've been wanting to see for a while. Point for the Beetleman!
11MadcinderFirst thought. Not sure blood pisses.
So he's short AND has a small stature. Double Diminutive! He's gotta be, like, three feet tall.
...I wrote that last line before reading the next sentence. I can't believe I was right. He's a legit midget. That's a first.
I have to be honest, this wasn't very easy to read. It really needs someone to go through and correct a lot of words that are just, well, the wrong word.
There's a lot of cliches mashed together here in so many ways, and it's hard to tell from just the first chapter whether or not they're going to make the story better or worse. Most of them can be worked to better the story, but aren't looking so optimistic.
I do appreciate the Beetleman, though. That's something I've been wanting to see for a while. Point for the Beetleman!
2/13/2017 c11 6Darth Zannacross
The only thing being worst then unable to find a lover, being locked on by someone you don't like at all lol, all of the negatives without any of the advantages.
Still...his parents had a unique approach to encouragement, a tad to aggressive lol.
Ah well guess the romance is not one sided so far so good for him, we will see.
6Darth ZannacrossThe only thing being worst then unable to find a lover, being locked on by someone you don't like at all lol, all of the negatives without any of the advantages.
Still...his parents had a unique approach to encouragement, a tad to aggressive lol.
Ah well guess the romance is not one sided so far so good for him, we will see.
1/28/2017 c10 Darth Zannacross
I see Set's still hunting for clues, hope he gets a bone thrown his way sooner or later. The hunt leaders to investigating training it seems.
Well, things did not get TO messy considering how it could have gone. Well some things mentioned, more details learned, so nice job with that.
Well we will see how things go from here, hopefully the son can avoid replacing the sins of the father.
I see Set's still hunting for clues, hope he gets a bone thrown his way sooner or later. The hunt leaders to investigating training it seems.
Well, things did not get TO messy considering how it could have gone. Well some things mentioned, more details learned, so nice job with that.
Well we will see how things go from here, hopefully the son can avoid replacing the sins of the father.
1/25/2017 c9 Darth Zannacross
Well I do like cats, Shizuna seems rather snobby though. And another encounter with the kind homeless wolf, and then we realize she is the heart collector, she is twisted alright. Well, at least he escaped being his next victim. Well, we will see how this goes.
Well I do like cats, Shizuna seems rather snobby though. And another encounter with the kind homeless wolf, and then we realize she is the heart collector, she is twisted alright. Well, at least he escaped being his next victim. Well, we will see how this goes.
1/24/2017 c8 Darth Zannacross
It sucks to be homeless, even when your a fiend. A homeless wolf could be a angry wolf though so, uh oh. Well, this one seems mellow so, not bad.
So...Ashen's kind of a sucker but, at least he is helpful, to bad this heart snatcher is being a prick, now will we have a heartless wolf? We will see how that goes.
It sucks to be homeless, even when your a fiend. A homeless wolf could be a angry wolf though so, uh oh. Well, this one seems mellow so, not bad.
So...Ashen's kind of a sucker but, at least he is helpful, to bad this heart snatcher is being a prick, now will we have a heartless wolf? We will see how that goes.
12/31/2016 c4 19dmasterxd
Shaquir and his wife have some pretty good interactions. Can't blame Kevin for still being freaked out though, haha. Meanwhile Zek is a jerk. But looks like Hemol is going to save Kevin (I bet he's tsun :x). Nice buildup to the next chapter.
Also pretty interested in the serial killer part of the storyline as he continues to escape Shaquir's grasp. Nice job.
19dmasterxdShaquir and his wife have some pretty good interactions. Can't blame Kevin for still being freaked out though, haha. Meanwhile Zek is a jerk. But looks like Hemol is going to save Kevin (I bet he's tsun :x). Nice buildup to the next chapter.
Also pretty interested in the serial killer part of the storyline as he continues to escape Shaquir's grasp. Nice job.
12/30/2016 c7 6Darth Zannacross
So, other Kevin eh? Sounds like either he has a split personalty or, Kevin's going through a Yu Gi Oh like thing lol.
Well, at least that wordy bug was put down, down but not out so who knows if he will come back for revenge someday. Well, seems going with the flow has, quite a few nasty side effects. Well, friendship wins, for now.
6Darth ZannacrossSo, other Kevin eh? Sounds like either he has a split personalty or, Kevin's going through a Yu Gi Oh like thing lol.
Well, at least that wordy bug was put down, down but not out so who knows if he will come back for revenge someday. Well, seems going with the flow has, quite a few nasty side effects. Well, friendship wins, for now.
12/29/2016 c6 Darth Zannacross
Female Jackals must be fun with, various things lol.
Meanwhile, words can kill yes, but, at least its not Death Note levels for now. Still, ruining friendships is not cool.
Well, writing to make reality bend to your whim is rather crazy, we will see how this hassle is handled.
Female Jackals must be fun with, various things lol.
Meanwhile, words can kill yes, but, at least its not Death Note levels for now. Still, ruining friendships is not cool.
Well, writing to make reality bend to your whim is rather crazy, we will see how this hassle is handled.
12/28/2016 c5 Darth Zannacross
We got a batty battle here, not bad, Hemol showed his stuff I guess. We will see if the lying to Kevin will cause some backlash.
We got a batty battle here, not bad, Hemol showed his stuff I guess. We will see if the lying to Kevin will cause some backlash.
12/27/2016 c4 Darth Zannacross
Ah and now back to this, which seems to be back to training. Mostly school drama, we will see what else is linked to this, also, " You better not hang up over don't hang up" near the end.
Well, we will see how this goes.
Ah and now back to this, which seems to be back to training. Mostly school drama, we will see what else is linked to this, also, " You better not hang up over don't hang up" near the end.
Well, we will see how this goes.
11/28/2016 c3 19dmasterxd
Intetsting, seems Kevin's powers are already starting to go out of control and he's very worried about it for good reason. And I highly doubt that dream of his was just a dream so yeah. Hemol is such a tsundere lol.
Meanwhile it seems the serial killer is making more and more progress whereas Shaquir and Set are making next to none. Hopefully that'll change soon.
Good chapter!
19dmasterxdIntetsting, seems Kevin's powers are already starting to go out of control and he's very worried about it for good reason. And I highly doubt that dream of his was just a dream so yeah. Hemol is such a tsundere lol.
Meanwhile it seems the serial killer is making more and more progress whereas Shaquir and Set are making next to none. Hopefully that'll change soon.
Good chapter!
11/27/2016 c2 dmasterxd
Huh so it seems Shaquir is a police officer it a detective or something. Intersting. I'd like to say hopefully he takes care of this serial killer soon before he gets to Kevin or soneone, but of course he he won't otherwise there would be no plot.
Ricj's fight with Hemoln ("Emo", haha) was really well done. I could picture everything that was going on really easily as well. And we learned about the flow, but it seens Hemol wants no part in it. Can't wait to see where this all goes.
Fox News XD. I love puns like that, haha.
Good chapter!
Huh so it seems Shaquir is a police officer it a detective or something. Intersting. I'd like to say hopefully he takes care of this serial killer soon before he gets to Kevin or soneone, but of course he he won't otherwise there would be no plot.
Ricj's fight with Hemoln ("Emo", haha) was really well done. I could picture everything that was going on really easily as well. And we learned about the flow, but it seens Hemol wants no part in it. Can't wait to see where this all goes.
Fox News XD. I love puns like that, haha.
Good chapter!