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for The Black Sacrament

11/3/2016 c1 3Akirys
Hey, this is really good! The only consistent problem is that some paragraphs start with a quote or italicized thought that ends in a comma, which makes it a run-on sentence. It's all right to end whole sentences inside a quotation with a period. Otherwise, you're clearly a very good writer - I could picture the first few paragraphs as the beginning of a novel. Keep at it!

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