for Soar high with Dove Clan4/16 c1 
6Darth Zannacross
Belle seems cool enough putting up with a mundane state of things. The two work well, but looks like things are going to heat up, hope the two can keep things together.
6Darth ZannacrossBelle seems cool enough putting up with a mundane state of things. The two work well, but looks like things are going to heat up, hope the two can keep things together.
4/14 c3 35Starart152
This is a good chapter with a good fight against that thing that looked like human, but might not be a human. Alijah might not be dead, but I cannot be certain of it until later on.
Like the comedy between Rockie and K.O. during the fight, which ended when they got serious against him.
35Starart152This is a good chapter with a good fight against that thing that looked like human, but might not be a human. Alijah might not be dead, but I cannot be certain of it until later on.
Like the comedy between Rockie and K.O. during the fight, which ended when they got serious against him.
4/14 c2 Starart152
This is a fun chapter where their group luck sure looked bad as they got into trouble and someone ended up as gator lunch.
I like how the characters are around together and the comedy based on their personality.
This is a fun chapter where their group luck sure looked bad as they got into trouble and someone ended up as gator lunch.
I like how the characters are around together and the comedy based on their personality.
9/11/2022 c1 17cud-b-better
Hm, I was almost positive that I read this previously, but oh well. honestly speaking, I don't think the people in the bank were even worth saving. Take money from the saviors, not the gunmen that tried to rob the place. When they were shit talking them, I kind of wanted one of them to say: "If we're such monsters, than why are you all still alive?". Kind of confused though, if magic users are so scary, they wouldn't think to even call out to them. So they know that they actually aren't as bad as they claim. Yet they still treat them like that. I loved how Rocky was begging them to pick a fight just so he can retaliate. They are quite the good pair, a hotheaded honest guy, and a well grounded girl. Anyway, so far so good.
17cud-b-betterHm, I was almost positive that I read this previously, but oh well. honestly speaking, I don't think the people in the bank were even worth saving. Take money from the saviors, not the gunmen that tried to rob the place. When they were shit talking them, I kind of wanted one of them to say: "If we're such monsters, than why are you all still alive?". Kind of confused though, if magic users are so scary, they wouldn't think to even call out to them. So they know that they actually aren't as bad as they claim. Yet they still treat them like that. I loved how Rocky was begging them to pick a fight just so he can retaliate. They are quite the good pair, a hotheaded honest guy, and a well grounded girl. Anyway, so far so good.
6/1/2019 c1 35Starart152
This is an interesting beginning for the story. We are introduced to our two main characters with different personality. We can clearly feel that Rockie is more energetic and reckless while Belle is the calm one, as the title of this prologue indirectly implied.
We also have a clear sight of what the kind of world they live in and how the world is seeing people who can use magic.
35Starart152This is an interesting beginning for the story. We are introduced to our two main characters with different personality. We can clearly feel that Rockie is more energetic and reckless while Belle is the calm one, as the title of this prologue indirectly implied.
We also have a clear sight of what the kind of world they live in and how the world is seeing people who can use magic.
8/5/2018 c2 9Shang
In all honesty I'm not sure that opening "prologue" (chapter 1) is necessary; sure it makes one wonder what its all about, but frankly I don't think it's a particularly good foreshadowing or a mechanic to hook the reader. And it is also very short in itself, so while the feeling put into it is okay, it just doesn't have enough to capture the reader in my opinion.
The actual, first chapter fairs a lot better; in a nutshell it follows the core formula of an action shouned title such as "One Piece", "Fairy Tail" and the like with young protagonist taking on a weaker bad guy as means to present the characters and the setting. Nothing wrong with that and it is kinda hard to get around (I would know with my stories ').
The story itself gives off a vibe of being mix between "Fairy Tail" and "X-Men" of sorts, though admittedly it is just the first chapter so I can't make official judgements on that front yet. Plotwise it was pretty enjoyable, though some room for structural and stylistic improvement does exist... like the fact that your characters are ALMOST exclusively referred to by their name only, giving the sense of "limited vocabularly" or that you yourself don't know how to define them.
There are a few, minor hickups of grammar where either a word is missing or the wrong spelling used, though nothing particularly major.
Overall I did enjoy the read and am intrigued about what happens next. For the moment I have just returned to FictionPress after long absence, so for now I'm selecting stories I intend to read in the near future (especially since I have my own remakes to update as well), but I'll be back here for more sometime soon, I hope.
Nice work.
9ShangIn all honesty I'm not sure that opening "prologue" (chapter 1) is necessary; sure it makes one wonder what its all about, but frankly I don't think it's a particularly good foreshadowing or a mechanic to hook the reader. And it is also very short in itself, so while the feeling put into it is okay, it just doesn't have enough to capture the reader in my opinion.
The actual, first chapter fairs a lot better; in a nutshell it follows the core formula of an action shouned title such as "One Piece", "Fairy Tail" and the like with young protagonist taking on a weaker bad guy as means to present the characters and the setting. Nothing wrong with that and it is kinda hard to get around (I would know with my stories ').
The story itself gives off a vibe of being mix between "Fairy Tail" and "X-Men" of sorts, though admittedly it is just the first chapter so I can't make official judgements on that front yet. Plotwise it was pretty enjoyable, though some room for structural and stylistic improvement does exist... like the fact that your characters are ALMOST exclusively referred to by their name only, giving the sense of "limited vocabularly" or that you yourself don't know how to define them.
There are a few, minor hickups of grammar where either a word is missing or the wrong spelling used, though nothing particularly major.
Overall I did enjoy the read and am intrigued about what happens next. For the moment I have just returned to FictionPress after long absence, so for now I'm selecting stories I intend to read in the near future (especially since I have my own remakes to update as well), but I'll be back here for more sometime soon, I hope.
Nice work.
7/7/2018 c5 9Kahoruko711
I have to admit, this was a nice chapter. The action scenes were easy enough to read through. It's good to see the girls handling their own in a fight.
9Kahoruko711I have to admit, this was a nice chapter. The action scenes were easy enough to read through. It's good to see the girls handling their own in a fight.
6/12/2018 c4 Kahoruko711
Well, the action was on point. It just needs a little more description in a few places but I thought it was pretty cool. I'm wondering about the hunters though. They don't seem completely human if one of them can summon shadows and turn into monsters. Maybe they formed a pact with the supernatural or something? I guess I'll have to find out sooner or later.
Anyways, nice chapter.
Well, the action was on point. It just needs a little more description in a few places but I thought it was pretty cool. I'm wondering about the hunters though. They don't seem completely human if one of them can summon shadows and turn into monsters. Maybe they formed a pact with the supernatural or something? I guess I'll have to find out sooner or later.
Anyways, nice chapter.
6/4/2018 c2 5ArcanePunkster
Sorry for the long wait for returning your reviews have been very busy lately.
Anyhow really enjoyed this chapter especially the interaction between Belle and Rockie which I look forward to seeing more of. Also liked the reference to Dragon Ball with Rockie's hair lighting up (if it was a reference that is haha, Dragon Ball was the first thing that came to mind when reading that scene)
I also am intrigued to find out more about this 'Holiday' place as it sounds rather interesting. So expect a review on the next chapter very soon!
5ArcanePunksterSorry for the long wait for returning your reviews have been very busy lately.
Anyhow really enjoyed this chapter especially the interaction between Belle and Rockie which I look forward to seeing more of. Also liked the reference to Dragon Ball with Rockie's hair lighting up (if it was a reference that is haha, Dragon Ball was the first thing that came to mind when reading that scene)
I also am intrigued to find out more about this 'Holiday' place as it sounds rather interesting. So expect a review on the next chapter very soon!
5/28/2018 c3 9Kahoruko711
Well, I'm liking the two new characters so far. Though Maya kind of grinds at my nerves a little. Hopefully she'll carry her weight and help Belle in the fight against the hunter. Perhaps Rockie's bad luck can pitch in during the next battle? I hope so.
The prologue seemed random to me. It would have been better if it was the first chapter along side the bad end beginining. But, I guess you had a different idea.
The banter is on point once again. Keep up the good work.
9Kahoruko711Well, I'm liking the two new characters so far. Though Maya kind of grinds at my nerves a little. Hopefully she'll carry her weight and help Belle in the fight against the hunter. Perhaps Rockie's bad luck can pitch in during the next battle? I hope so.
The prologue seemed random to me. It would have been better if it was the first chapter along side the bad end beginining. But, I guess you had a different idea.
The banter is on point once again. Keep up the good work.
5/9/2018 c2 1Datathee
Have you played Dragon Age? Their mistreatment reminds of the game especially when the non-humans aren't comfortable with Rockie and Belle.
I'm liking what I'm reading so far. Belle is the straight man to Rockie's goofy side. Rockie has a bright future in storytelling. Just like the kid, I loved his active imagination.
My only recommendation is to add visual detail about the mystery people. If(or when) they pop again, it'll be easier to see recognize them.
Great chapter!
1DatatheeHave you played Dragon Age? Their mistreatment reminds of the game especially when the non-humans aren't comfortable with Rockie and Belle.
I'm liking what I'm reading so far. Belle is the straight man to Rockie's goofy side. Rockie has a bright future in storytelling. Just like the kid, I loved his active imagination.
My only recommendation is to add visual detail about the mystery people. If(or when) they pop again, it'll be easier to see recognize them.
Great chapter!
4/27/2018 c1 5ArcanePunkster
Interesting start, reminds me of when I first played Crysis 3 on the Xbox 360, and the Ceph crawled out of the ground and started killing humans without remorse.
Also I get the vibe that this man and woman aren't the main characters? But I suppose I'll find out next chapter so I'll continue reading on!
5ArcanePunksterInteresting start, reminds me of when I first played Crysis 3 on the Xbox 360, and the Ceph crawled out of the ground and started killing humans without remorse.
Also I get the vibe that this man and woman aren't the main characters? But I suppose I'll find out next chapter so I'll continue reading on!
4/26/2018 c2 9Kahoruko711
Not going to lie; you had me at "abs that make women climb him" statement. Like, wft? That really made me laugh. I also like the dynamic of Rookie and Belle. They contrast and balance each other out with their different personalities. So, great job with that.
Nice action scene in the bank. Though, it could read a little better with merged paragraphs.
Also, normal people hating on mages? I must admit, that's a very realistic apporach. I can't say I blame them for feeling that way, but I wouldn't go so far as to treat them like dirt. And the way they just accpeted the words of a bank robber? Sheesh, ungrateful jerks.
Anyway, this is really well done. I'll be looking forward to seeing more.
9Kahoruko711Not going to lie; you had me at "abs that make women climb him" statement. Like, wft? That really made me laugh. I also like the dynamic of Rookie and Belle. They contrast and balance each other out with their different personalities. So, great job with that.
Nice action scene in the bank. Though, it could read a little better with merged paragraphs.
Also, normal people hating on mages? I must admit, that's a very realistic apporach. I can't say I blame them for feeling that way, but I wouldn't go so far as to treat them like dirt. And the way they just accpeted the words of a bank robber? Sheesh, ungrateful jerks.
Anyway, this is really well done. I'll be looking forward to seeing more.
4/26/2018 c1 Kahoruko711
Geez, that went from zero to hundred quickly. So, I'm guessing this is a prologue and it's foreshadowing a bad end for the story? Or perhaps it's another timeline in a bad future? Well, either way, it looks interesting so far.
It could have been a little longer, maybe show some action with the husband and wife. Perhaps they try to fight off more foes only to get more and more overwhelmed. Other than that, everything else is fine, considering how short it reads. I'll be keeping an eye on this story.
Geez, that went from zero to hundred quickly. So, I'm guessing this is a prologue and it's foreshadowing a bad end for the story? Or perhaps it's another timeline in a bad future? Well, either way, it looks interesting so far.
It could have been a little longer, maybe show some action with the husband and wife. Perhaps they try to fight off more foes only to get more and more overwhelmed. Other than that, everything else is fine, considering how short it reads. I'll be keeping an eye on this story.