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for The Legend of Fossil

4/5/2019 c8 1Morrowseer
I liked learning about the history of the shamans it was nice backstory
4/5/2019 c7 Morrowseer
The story is getting thicker at this point I do believe
4/5/2019 c6 Morrowseer
This is a good chapter I think
4/5/2019 c5 Morrowseer
This chapter is an info dump. That’s what they call it when you dump a bunch of stuff like world building or backstory on your readers. I don’t really know you would be able to fix it though because I’m not a very good writer and writing is hard.
4/5/2019 c4 Morrowseer
I finally found some ideas or criticisms to say. Of course you only have to listen to me if you want to. I think any chapter should be at least 1,000 words long. And Jerome’s fables, maybe you could put them at the top of a chapter as an introduction or somehow integrate them into dialogue between Jerome and Fossil. Because adding in these fables as their own chapter seems to kind of break the flow of the story or something.
4/3/2019 c3 Morrowseer
I could just imagine vividly the two uninterested unicorns dancing at a funeral to techo music with uncles drumming along to the beat. What butiful artistry
4/3/2019 c2 Morrowseer
I’m pretty sure this is supposed to mean something but I can’t figure it out
4/3/2019 c1 Morrowseer
Lmao I literally laughed out loud. Could you imagine just hearing a nurse say that
3/31/2019 c1 14The Cybersmith
Wait... velociraptors don't give birth, though...
3/28/2019 c14 18Sir Scott
I'm glad that he has Chardanaro, because it sounds like he is going to need them.
~Sir Scott
3/22/2019 c13 Sir Scott
This was a very interesting story and well thought out. Patsy's death was cruel. It's sad to see how Fossil's peers live. I guess it would be hard to hide the act of an unfaith wife in this universe. I guess Fossil's mentor is out of the picture and Fossil is on his own. I am curious to see how it all works out.
~Sir Scott
9/13/2018 c5 Hauchen
I see that you, too, have read Watership Down. That or watched the movie/TV series haha.
9/11/2018 c5 aviick
I really love the breakdown of the humaninal pantheon as it is very informative. The Abba-Dingo is truly unique as I can not think of a reference off-hand. The idea of a super computer created by man judging mankind and Humaninals can lead to many avenues of thought. I like where there is going already! You are fairly good at giving some elements that provide some micro and macro insights. Looking forward to where this may go!
1/11/2017 c4 aviick
Ah yes, the self-hating humans. We live with such conundrums.

I'd like to see more of this story, as it could go in a couple of different directions. Some predictable, while others not so. Always intriguing.
12/27/2016 c3 aviick
I think you can tell where you write and where the story generator came in. With the adjustments made, it flowed better. I wonder how odd the original generated story came out?

I'm looking forward to reading more about the farm and it's dynamics.
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