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1/25 c1 Mirandamau
I am so interested in your work. My name is Miranda an editor for a fast growing platform. May I know how to reach you professionally?
6/27/2017 c1 8LorrahBear
This is amazing! Such a great start; one of the best I've seen. I hope you come back and continue this.
3/15/2017 c1 2PeachesForMe
This is so well-written and chilling. Beautiful writing, great job!
2/24/2017 c1 70BradytheJust
Well, I'm not going to sleep tonight...
Short, sweet, and oh so scary... I could almost taste the desperation and the fear... even the first line. "How long do we have to stay here?" sent shivers up my spine.

However, I think the line "Janau reacted, she swung hard" is repeated twice, because the next line starts with "She swung hard" so you may want to check that.

Still, another amazing story and keep it up!
2/24/2017 c1 Charles Nathan
Line 10 you have, "Janau ran her fingers through her curly hand,". I missed it my first read through so don't feel bad.

The part where Janau cuts the creature with the bottle is repeated. It is not the exact same so I assume you were rewording that part. Which if that is the case, I felt the second version was better and gave a better mental image as to what the creature looked like. Also in this part you say that some of the hit found "purchase" where I think you meant "purpose".

Overall, I was very intrigued by this story. I have to imagine that Janau will have immense guilt surrounding her escape. I look forward to see how she deals with that along side trying to survive.

Very good read and I look forward to seeing where this story goes.

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