for Escaping the Trunk4/11/2017 c1 
14DemigodessOfEternity
Really interesting piece! I love the contrast of the bought of the boot being a prison and her panic with the comic and light hearted ending.
I loved the phrase "I gulped down my panic and hoed that would be enough to sustain me."
Very good story.
14DemigodessOfEternityReally interesting piece! I love the contrast of the bought of the boot being a prison and her panic with the comic and light hearted ending.
I loved the phrase "I gulped down my panic and hoed that would be enough to sustain me."
Very good story.
3/26/2017 c1 1Solo2863
An interesting little story, but on reading it for the second time I am still not sure whether I like it or not. From the beginning I was asking questions: who is it, why are they there, how long have they been there? Some of these are answered at the end with the final dénouement.
For me there was over use of adjectives and similes, which seem to detract from the build up of tension. A few very short sentences would help more to build up a sense of panic.
I liked the beginning of the second paragraph. It seems so correct for the protagonist to be worrying about their survival, and whether lack of air or water would get them first.
1Solo2863An interesting little story, but on reading it for the second time I am still not sure whether I like it or not. From the beginning I was asking questions: who is it, why are they there, how long have they been there? Some of these are answered at the end with the final dénouement.
For me there was over use of adjectives and similes, which seem to detract from the build up of tension. A few very short sentences would help more to build up a sense of panic.
I liked the beginning of the second paragraph. It seems so correct for the protagonist to be worrying about their survival, and whether lack of air or water would get them first.
3/14/2017 c1 3Sychronergy
For this piece, I was expecting something darker. I got very strong The Cask of Amontillado vibes when I read the summary and the beginning. I personally thought Lisa tricked the protagonist into crawling into the trunk and something really bad was going to happen - he was left to rot there / they left him as a prank and he dies by accident because of medical condition. Speaking personally, I am not a huge fan of a "Just kidding!" ending because the "humor" sort of mitigated all the suspense and horror you took so much care to build up.
3SychronergyFor this piece, I was expecting something darker. I got very strong The Cask of Amontillado vibes when I read the summary and the beginning. I personally thought Lisa tricked the protagonist into crawling into the trunk and something really bad was going to happen - he was left to rot there / they left him as a prank and he dies by accident because of medical condition. Speaking personally, I am not a huge fan of a "Just kidding!" ending because the "humor" sort of mitigated all the suspense and horror you took so much care to build up.