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for Seven and 13

1/23/2022 c3 aliziahnoor
fantastic story and I really like it. Do you mind if I ask your ema1l? Because I want to 0ffer you something related to your work and through this chance I would like to invite you to join our platf0rm. Thank you
4/19/2017 c1 3Sychronergy
You have a way with words. Your descriptions paint the scene in a picturesque way, which isn't easy and definitely admirable. You're also able to add a lot of mystique and charisma to your characters, which sort of snaps my attention from the get-go. The princess is clearly very intelligent, yet childlike. Your dialogue is really well-done, as well. The lines - "Do you miss Tivin?"/"Not yet. " "Is it important to be comfortable?"/"It 's something to be grateful for," "I made the wind come back" and "A lady without her own mind is a boring creature" really stood out to me. It's for sure that you have a good story-teller's voice and a clever way with words.

I would say, you can maybe work on the scene with the king and how the princess is a little queen to be a bit more. I'm sort of confused if the king is the grandfather of if a king walked out with nanny? I feel like that part should be really clear, but it's not due to all the ambiguous pronouns. "other kings" implies that grandfather is a king, but then the sudden shift didn't really feel to have worked. (If you'd intended the fact that grandfatherking as a shocker, I think you need to fine-tune it a bit). Overall, it feels like she's awfully young to be a queen-in-training and it feels like she's traveling to marry a king of another country? This is an immediate attention grabber (if you'd intended it that way). I see a lot of potential with that kind of dynamic (:
3/16/2017 c1 2PeachesForMe
I love this chapter! The imagery is very vivid. Your language is not too flowery and too simple, yet you manage to convey such beautiful scenery and characters. The characterization occurs more through dialogue than through explaining what they look like/what they are doing. Beautiful writing.

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