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for Beyond the Boundaries

3/13/2018 c1 1Hwannie
I hope you haven't dropped this. While the lines are a bit unnatural, I actually like the premise and the whole thing with modified humans. Although the dynamics between Ivan and Char were a bit weak, I'm interested to see how they would develop.
2/10/2018 c1 6Darth Zannacross
Alrighty, lets see what's beyond this boundary.

Char? " Looks for Gundam's and Zaku's" Oh wait wrong Char lol.

Meta Shards are cool, seems we just seen the surface of what they could do, hope we can see more. Well, not a bad start, hope we see more what's beyond the Boundaries sooner then later. Till then keep up the good work and till later Pages.
4/26/2017 c1 2JaDeCe
Well wonder no more Ivan, that's probably why they attacked you guys. I feel bad for the people, having to fear the unknown and man are Ivan and Char mean.

Good story. Nicely characters. I can't wait to actually find out more about this world you're building and these characters. At first I was like, yeah Ivan. Go on and date Char, but she is a wild card. I wonder can he handle her.

I really want to see them in action now. I know it's gonna be epic.

Keep it up!
4/23/2017 c1 1Tomoyuki Tanaka
Nice chapter, please update soon.

Jokes aside, this was a good chapter. I've to say the opening was a bit confusing. If you start off with a line like "it's just a job..." you probably don't want to continue with dialogue after that. It's jarring. Maybe, something like, "or at least it's supposed to be...until the bullets came flying and I realized my mortality." Then dialogue. I dunno. Just an example. To make it flow better.

It's just the first chapter so I don't really see much of the magic versus science aspect yet, except that one group fears the other because of magic and stuff.

I also found the reasoning for the attack ridicuous. Do you seriously go shoot and blow up a convoy just because they looked at you funny? That's...just weird. I'm not sure how to say this, but it just feels a bit shallow, like, hey, I'm going to force an attack for the sake of plot. I'm sure that's not what you intended, but when I read the way you glossed over the attack like "it's because you look at us as if we're lesser people" and them being unable to deny Ivan's "but we never did anything to you, you're just paranoid" it just feels like a cheap cop out.

Other than that, the conflict itself is interesting, and the concept and idea is done. I think the execution leaves a lot to be desired, but everything else was quite fun.

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