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for Raid Gone Wrong

4/29/2017 c1 25Jaya Avendel
The story itself is all right. You left off at a tense place! I think a bloody description of the trap closing in on the characters might have been better. Or if you were going to rescue them, you could continue the story. You have missed many, many quotation marks. The dialogue is a little hard to follow owing to the fact that you have not added 'he said' at the end of some of the sentences. But other then that, everything else is okay.

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