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for The Jewel Of Star-Denta

2/12/2018 c3 8LorrahBear
I was a smidge confused by the swap in character, but only at first. I love how you had him run into the merchant! What a great way to tie this character’s story in with the main character, as well as give us an idea of where and when he’s located in this world you’ve created. Well done!
1/29/2018 c2 LorrahBear
I still wish I knew why it was apparently normal for someone to have an elf slave, and more, for why the elf slave would rejoice at finally having a master.

I did really enjoy the bit where Orva is trying to convince Decha not to go about the necromancer; it certainly sets up the plot!
1/12/2018 c3 2C. M. Brighid Bachleda
This is an interesting mythology so far...
1/1/2018 c12 9Reiz16
So, a massacre happens! I wonder where the healthy ones have gone to flee?
1/1/2018 c11 Reiz16
A good meeting of the gods.

So, Mir-us controls trolls? Cool.
1/1/2018 c10 Reiz16
Ooh! He leaves behind his lover to make a new life! I'm not sure I'd make such a decision.
12/25/2017 c1 8LorrahBear
This is an interesting first chapter. I wish we had more details on why the fairy woman needed to have a human master - I feel like that came out of nowhere. Overall, the coming out of nowhere would be my only complaint, as I felt that way about the death of his beloved too - where did that thief come from and why was he following them?

I look forward to seeing where this story goes from here. There’s some more technical things that could use attention (punctuation at the end of spoken sentences and occasional paragraph length), but the bones seem strong. Looking forward to the next chapter!
11/12/2017 c9 9Reiz16
The lovemaking was short but sweet. I don't usually review sex stories unless they're friends.

Baris must've been real lonely.

I wonder if the two babies will fight, one day?

Good job! :)
11/7/2017 c4 102Shadowgate
Holy shit this chapter got really disturbing. A soul trapped in star!
11/6/2017 c3 Shadowgate
Wow Duncan sure is horrible. He killed that poor traveler and then had lunch and had Vanda in bed.
10/20/2017 c8 9Reiz16
They have a good plan, but...

Looks like Vanda will betray Duncan.
10/20/2017 c7 Reiz16
Well, that's more than a love triangle!

Yay, fighting!
10/20/2017 c6 Reiz16
I'm glad she didn't get violated. And I liked the world changing with thought all the same.

I wonder if she'll return his affections.
10/13/2017 c5 Reiz16
Cool that there's trolls and ape-men!

So, that's how Star-Denta was made!
10/12/2017 c8 anon123345648362506
Nice chapter! Keep up the good work.
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