for Monster Samurai Tome 2: Fortress Of The Starmaker2/16/2020 c12 
6Darth Zannacross
Damn this maze is a long one all right, one with plenty of mid boss's. Thankfully the boss's are not quite as painful as some of those Zelda midboss's but thanks to some tail work the pathway to progress is open, lets see how long it takes to find Ryuki unless he's going to end up in another castle.
6Darth ZannacrossDamn this maze is a long one all right, one with plenty of mid boss's. Thankfully the boss's are not quite as painful as some of those Zelda midboss's but thanks to some tail work the pathway to progress is open, lets see how long it takes to find Ryuki unless he's going to end up in another castle.
2/14/2020 c10 Darth Zannacross
Another day, another maze. Well, no Minotaur but still a lot to deal with, guess they are already monsters lol.
Well, at least the Boulder did not get the last laugh.
Another day, another maze. Well, no Minotaur but still a lot to deal with, guess they are already monsters lol.
Well, at least the Boulder did not get the last laugh.
2/13/2020 c9 Darth Zannacross
Ah, boss time? Well, mini boss time but close enough lol.
Well, the carpet has been laid out for them, lets see just how rough a welcome the " host" will throw.
Ah, boss time? Well, mini boss time but close enough lol.
Well, the carpet has been laid out for them, lets see just how rough a welcome the " host" will throw.
2/11/2020 c8 Darth Zannacross
Now back to the land of Samurai Monsters, with a very fiery chapter. Well, they trudged through these fiery hazards well enough for the likes of Mario, Link, and the other hero's to be proud.
Well, seems like a nice song so far, we will see how it goes next time.
Now back to the land of Samurai Monsters, with a very fiery chapter. Well, they trudged through these fiery hazards well enough for the likes of Mario, Link, and the other hero's to be proud.
Well, seems like a nice song so far, we will see how it goes next time.
10/13/2019 c6 Darth Zannacross
And its flashback time to get a better incite for are leads.
We saw just how much disgust Nekon had, guess it was quite a lot of resentment, and even so he and Ryuki were able to form a bond, as we see how hard he wants to hold on to that bond.
Well, we will see if he can pull it off in time, nice chapter, and till next time.
And its flashback time to get a better incite for are leads.
We saw just how much disgust Nekon had, guess it was quite a lot of resentment, and even so he and Ryuki were able to form a bond, as we see how hard he wants to hold on to that bond.
Well, we will see if he can pull it off in time, nice chapter, and till next time.
10/12/2019 c5 Darth Zannacross
Looks like this party is going to get a tad stuffed...but hopefully it won't ruin things, we will see how Nekon and Isa joining in change things.
Later on" his inability to even made some progress" You mean make some progress for that?
Well, everyone is stressed from not being able to find there leader but, hopefully they can get past all these demonic rocky obstacles to resolve things. We will see, till then till next time.
Looks like this party is going to get a tad stuffed...but hopefully it won't ruin things, we will see how Nekon and Isa joining in change things.
Later on" his inability to even made some progress" You mean make some progress for that?
Well, everyone is stressed from not being able to find there leader but, hopefully they can get past all these demonic rocky obstacles to resolve things. We will see, till then till next time.
10/11/2019 c2 19dmasterxd
Claw seems like a fun character, I love his trolling lol. I’m guessing a drakon is like a bigger dragon than Ryuki? There were also some nice little tidbits about the dragons and their customs that I enjoyed learning about.
I hope Nekon and Isa find Ryuki soon, but I also can’t wait to see what’ll happen in this expedition.
19dmasterxdClaw seems like a fun character, I love his trolling lol. I’m guessing a drakon is like a bigger dragon than Ryuki? There were also some nice little tidbits about the dragons and their customs that I enjoyed learning about.
I hope Nekon and Isa find Ryuki soon, but I also can’t wait to see what’ll happen in this expedition.
10/11/2019 c4 6Darth Zannacross
Ah well back to this so lets see what we got here.
Claw's still being petty...but Ryuki managed to take him down a notch.
Still..we will see what this Star Maker is all about and if its this purple haired chap.
6Darth ZannacrossAh well back to this so lets see what we got here.
Claw's still being petty...but Ryuki managed to take him down a notch.
Still..we will see what this Star Maker is all about and if its this purple haired chap.
10/9/2019 c1 19dmasterxd
Well dang, they just barely got the Tear and now they lost it. This is why we can’t have nice things XD. At least Ryuki managed to save it, but he’s clearly lost himself. And not sure how they’re going to get it out of his stomach.
Seemed like he got eaten by another dragon at the end, but not sure. If he did though, I’m sure he’ll manage to find a way out somehow. I liked the little bits of comedy spliced in as well. Short chapter, but still enjoyable.
19dmasterxdWell dang, they just barely got the Tear and now they lost it. This is why we can’t have nice things XD. At least Ryuki managed to save it, but he’s clearly lost himself. And not sure how they’re going to get it out of his stomach.
Seemed like he got eaten by another dragon at the end, but not sure. If he did though, I’m sure he’ll manage to find a way out somehow. I liked the little bits of comedy spliced in as well. Short chapter, but still enjoyable.
3/20/2019 c1 8Barbados
Well, let's go!
So, I chose this one even though I didn't read the first tome, because it was newer and I figured would give me a better sense of where you are as a writer now.
I will confess, I got a little lost on which character was which in the middle, and had to re-read it a couple times to sort it out. It also seems like maybe English isn't your first language, which can make things challenging.
I did like the scene, it was dramatic, and there was no big infodump or anything -straight to the action, with just enough exposition to let us know why the Tear is so important. As a prologue, I think it touched all the points it should, so well done.
The punctuation was in pretty good order, none of the usual pitfalls I see there. Some spelling errors to watch out for - which can be difficult because the errors produced actual English words, so a spell-checker won't catch it. You really do have to read your own work, usually out-loud, to catch these types of errors.
The main thing that needs some attention is the writing itself, which just comes with practice. Some sentences could have been cleaner. There was also a lot of telling instead of showing, which if changed could make the read more engaging.
Keep on writing!
8BarbadosWell, let's go!
So, I chose this one even though I didn't read the first tome, because it was newer and I figured would give me a better sense of where you are as a writer now.
I will confess, I got a little lost on which character was which in the middle, and had to re-read it a couple times to sort it out. It also seems like maybe English isn't your first language, which can make things challenging.
I did like the scene, it was dramatic, and there was no big infodump or anything -straight to the action, with just enough exposition to let us know why the Tear is so important. As a prologue, I think it touched all the points it should, so well done.
The punctuation was in pretty good order, none of the usual pitfalls I see there. Some spelling errors to watch out for - which can be difficult because the errors produced actual English words, so a spell-checker won't catch it. You really do have to read your own work, usually out-loud, to catch these types of errors.
The main thing that needs some attention is the writing itself, which just comes with practice. Some sentences could have been cleaner. There was also a lot of telling instead of showing, which if changed could make the read more engaging.
Keep on writing!
12/30/2018 c3 6Darth Zannacross
Amelia seems cool, glad some in this group are reasonable Well, at least its not going to be as hard as a search as I thought but, things could change so lets see how this goes.
6Darth ZannacrossAmelia seems cool, glad some in this group are reasonable Well, at least its not going to be as hard as a search as I thought but, things could change so lets see how this goes.
12/29/2018 c2 Darth Zannacross
Welp, even if it gets a fancy name like the Star Maker, being a slave sucks. Well, we got names now for well, Claw and Ryuki, but I suppose there are more brutal ways to become enslaved. Well, we will see just how rough Claw is as a slave master soon enough.
Welp, even if it gets a fancy name like the Star Maker, being a slave sucks. Well, we got names now for well, Claw and Ryuki, but I suppose there are more brutal ways to become enslaved. Well, we will see just how rough Claw is as a slave master soon enough.
12/28/2018 c1 Darth Zannacross
And now part two begins, and it begins with a bang all right. Damn demons, never giving people slack, guess that's why they are demons though.
Well, we will have to see if this Mini Dragon can deliver a big comeback. Nice start, should be a fun ride, keep it up and till next time.
And now part two begins, and it begins with a bang all right. Damn demons, never giving people slack, guess that's why they are demons though.
Well, we will have to see if this Mini Dragon can deliver a big comeback. Nice start, should be a fun ride, keep it up and till next time.