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for Death and the Emperor

1/18 c2 28Starart152
This is a nice chapter that introduce the characters and explained how the story of Kilan begins. He met a strange being that might be the reaper of this world and came to take Varan.
I'm curious to see what Kilan could do for hsi sister by following the stranger to the afterlife.
9/24/2019 c3 9Shang
Death's "home" is interesting and I generally liked how the scene progressed. It made sense even if Kilan could be accused of acting beyond his age (but hey - Ren from my "Dragon Blood" gotten the same accussation, so who am I to talk? :D), but I think you handled this nicely. I do wonder what sort of impact will this have exactly, but there's a lot of chapters to get through, so I guess I'll learn in due time.

The footnotes at the end are an interesting idea; it helps with the world-building and keeps the impression we're experiencing a tale from an actual, fantasy world. This can be a good thing or might blew up in your face, it's hard to determine at this point as it depends on just how often you'll need to fall back onto those footnotes. As with most things you should take heed to not "overdo it" ;)

So far the story is interesting and I'll be reading more in the near future, but I just returned to FictionPress after a long break, so I have catching up to do with both writing and reading... as such it might take me a bit to get back to this.
9/24/2019 c2 Shang
And so I reach the story proper; I must say that your design of Death seems pretty fun with her (will Death be gendered here?) not having an actual appearance, but she does seem to be female... she kinda gave me the vibe of Prachett's Discworld Death... sorry, DEATH... but given that humor is not part of the genre here I guess it's just me.

The chapter was quite good (its very beginning again reminded me of Tolkien, maybe much more so than the prologue) and I must say that I actually liked how Varan was presented. Kilan I have mixed feelings about so far.

Your descriptions are good: quite detailed to be sure, but I don't feel bored while reading, so you do seem to find the right balance here. I did not expect Kilan to be this young, so I wonder if there's gonna be some timeskip or will he become emperor under "unique" circumstance?

Overall the story is well-written and I am intrigued, so good job so far.
9/24/2019 c1 Shang
The summary has made me curious. The prologue does suggest how the story will progress a bit, but I like the style you used. To a small extend it reminds me of Tolkien's, but way more mature.

As it commonly is with prologues I can't really say much about the story itself, but it was an interesting idea to use "info dump" after the prologue; it sorta feels out of place but on the other hand prevents boring the read with "dry fact". Overall I liked the ending paragraphs, so makes no difference to me, but... ;)
4/19/2019 c65 5Darth Zannacross
Well, the climax is not what I expected but here we are. Since its the last chapter I wanted to give a bit more so here we go.

First for the chapter itself, well, looks more and more like the traitorous cousin has mellowed out and is just, cursing along with the reapers for now. Well, long as he does not start writing names on a notebook and killing people he seems more like a neutral agent then a bad guy for now, but we will see.

Well, saw that coming though I figured she would try and off Kilan, guess she saw firsthand what happened to the mooks who tried to off him so for the best she did not pull a Game of Thrones.

Still, this might cause even more headaches, we will see.

Now, for the overall review. I admit...this story was drastically different then what I expected after reading the first chapter. I was kind of expecting a universal war story like Star Wars or Halo and that so far has not happened much yet.

You have quite some interesting concepts, I have to concede I feel that for the most part, I feel the story's wasted this having a universal empire, its just me but it feels like little of the story would have changed if it was based on one planet with two large empires.

Kilan's, a unique main lead to be sure as well, not quite a good parent or emperor, though I guess he's a decent ruler since war has not broken out.

Death is the most un deathly Death since Death in Soul Eater, and it will drive Thanos nuts if someone won over her after how much he's done to win her over lol.
The other cast members like Quiadal and others are interesting enough for me to be curios to see how things will end up with them, and I 'm also curious what Fate's grand plan is.

Its not what I expected but I am curious about it to see how things unfold so hope you don't give up Nerissa-McC, keep it up and till next time hope your around whenever I get to Zilos 3 lol.
4/17/2019 c64 Darth Zannacross
Well, you would think someone in the Empire would tell Kilan it might be bad to mistreat your wife but, guess he's asking for trouble. How much trouble remains to be seen but Death sees a lot so guess she won't be able to pull a fast one, lessen Fate intervenes. We will see.
4/16/2019 c63 Darth Zannacross
Well, Qihadal is growing more and more bitter. But, unless things get drastic I would say, this won't be resolved in the next three chapters.

Looks like Fate's trolling everyone so curios if we will at least see her get defied before the, season finale?
4/15/2019 c62 Darth Zannacross
Well, on top of everything if Death is the person focusing on a child the most there is some serious issues, I wonder what will come from it?

Well, we are playing the long game with Shaurdin, but if there is only a few chapters left, looks like things are going to heat up fast? Guess we will see.
4/14/2019 c61 Darth Zannacross
Well, don't feel to bad Qihiadal, your relationship with your spouse is not quite as toxic as say, Princess Irulan's fraud relationship with Paul Atreides in Dune or most of the Game of Thrones relationships.

Well, is this pushing her to be the final boss? Well, only a few chapters left so we will see if someone snaps.
4/13/2019 c60 Darth Zannacross
And, we fast forwarded to the kid, did not expect it to unfold like that.

Geeze, these guys really suck at being parents...hope they hire good nannies.

So, Ranoryin was reincarnated to be the kid? That's...awkward but we will see where this leads.
4/12/2019 c59 Darth Zannacross
War's quite trigger happy but, guess that IS what war is for and, at least its not as brutal as the ones from God of War, or the Wonder Woman Ares or something.

You would think Nalginton would take more precautions but he went mad with power, and died with power, doh.

Well, Jalakanavu's plan has quite a lot of wholes, not sure if it will sink her" Ship" but we will see.
4/11/2019 c58 Darth Zannacross
All these spy plans , and all they seem to do is annoy Death, but at least it helped her get things to cut to the chase.

Well, Nalginton seems to be turning out to be on par with leaders as cruel as Ramsey from Game of Thrones, Baron Hardoken from Dune and well, Frezia lol.

Guess we will see if his sister can dethrone him without losing her head in the process.
4/9/2019 c57 Darth Zannacross
Ah, glad Death got her reapers to stop going rouge...kind of .

Ah Kailan the Game of Thrones is a rough throne to sit on to say the least.

Looks like if he plays it cool his enemies might kill each other, we will see but Jalakanavu seems like her thirst for power is getting ready to boil over.

So Qihadal is at last knocked up eh? Well, hopefully she will live longer then the bride of the Emperor in Dune after she had kids or, this will get tragic rather fast.
4/8/2019 c56 Darth Zannacross
This agent of death gone wild reminds me of how things got crazy when rouge Reapers started handing out Death Notes in well...Death Note.

Well, hopefully it won't get THAT messy. Still, seems like Death should be running a tighter shift if all of this was able to go on without her noticing till its to late.

Well, I wonder if this will be a battle of the dead...if Gialma gets taught say, the Edo Tensei Jutsu Orochimaru had or becomes a member of the Black Lantern Corps things would get quite bad, though I don't think Madara or Aizen are going to start showing up for the showdown lol.
4/7/2019 c55 Darth Zannacross
Well, relationships are forming between" Husband and wife" despite all the missteps among the way, and its lead to even more spy action, Gialma should be grateful James Bond is not working for his cousin or 007 would have this whole plot shut down rather quickly.

Seems the traitor is hellbent on sticking to the job, how sad.

Well, now he might have a supernatural ally? This, could lead to some rather messy things. We will see soon but should be fun, for some at least.
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