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5/10/2018 c1 26Zukafu Chiriamoto
I feel a bit of sympathy for Iris. That cannot be an easy disability to cope with.
And July seems like a peculiar character - good sort of peculiar though. She'll probably gel very well with Iris.
~ Zukafu
4/24/2018 c1 Cupcake Lover
I love this so much! Please write more! If you don't I'll keep bugging because guests can review as much as they want.
4/22/2018 c1 5BurningPretzelsWithCheese
This is an interesting story concept. I laughed when she says "I like to study humans" straight after saying she's just moved in haha. That was great.
4/11/2018 c1 WhenPigsFly2018
ooohhhh... poor Iris, I really feel for her...
Oh and I'm too lazy to log on so I have to be the "anonymous" reviewer.
4/11/2018 c1 154LeagionFear
Interesting... Not too sure what's going on,but I don't think I'm supposed to. Not human, so is this earth or the future? So intriguing... In one line it says 'i go upstairs to call my...' That confused me a bit,cause she's mute, perhaps she would voice that 'to get' rather than 'to call'
I think the interaction between iris and the children before the bus was very realistic and natural, really well done and thought out and I like the premise, but I would like to know more about these 'people' as they refer to them selves... Perhaps in the nest chapter?
4/11/2018 c1 2The-Lost-Cat-Of-Forgotten-Gods
First off; I much like your characterisation of Iris. She's mysterious with her scar and muteness, and it's clear that she feels like a failure, without getting overly dramatic. What's interesting is that July doesn't treat her like expected. I don't fully get why a scar on your neck is such a problem (notice that neck and throat are different things), though. Can't you just grow your hair out and cover it? If not, you should clearly mention that no hair will grow there or something along those lines. Also, when Mom tells Iris to get her siblings, Hazel is first referred to as Bluebell? What's that about?

Ahw... you gave away the mystery of the scar, you could have waited with that. Also, July states that she investigates humans like it's an introduction of herself. Since it's kind of unusual to run with that at your first meeting that's a bit odd. I understand that it's necessary to understand her character, but it would perhaps be more logical to reveal that information about her when she recognises the mute symbol - that way iris can do the math that July is interested in human beings, and you don't have to change much around - nice to have those two coupled, by the way, as it makes me as reader wonder if Iris is in fact human. If that's not the case, you will have to explain later on why those pieces of information belong to each other.

But yeah, nice start! There's not much "exhibition" (describing surroundings) going on, but I guess the surroundings don't require it. You could have mentioned something about the looks of July and Hudson, but if they have no looks interesting to mention, then that's fine. It also shows Iris doesn't judge people easily. You could try going with less spaces, that makes it easier to seperate different scenes.

~Lost Cat

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