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8/17 c13 1AquaEclipse
Oh. The Vietnam War. Oh. PTSD is going to be brought up as well, isn't it?
8/17 c4 AquaEclipse
Ah, yes, the Cold War, and (eventually? not sure about the year) Berlin Wall. :(
8/17 c2 AquaEclipse
This story really started on a simplistic note, but as I scrolled through the chapters' table of contents (that's the best I can call it), I know things are going to be picking up eventually. Civil rights movement, I'd assume? I'm quite sure that the contrast is going to be great as the story goes on. Let us hope that these children born of the baby boomer generation do not act like the "boomers" we call out online, if they live long enough to see the 2010s.
10/24/2019 c32 48addledwalrus
I found that flashback a bit confusing. Was there something I missed earlier in this story?
10/11/2019 c31 addledwalrus
Toni's views on mental health seem to be ahead of her time.
9/18/2019 c1 14The Cybersmith
I read Guy Mitchell and now I have Heartaches By the Number stuck in my head again.
9/17/2019 c30 48addledwalrus
What language was Erika speaking? And what did her words translate to?
8/29/2019 c29 addledwalrus
Erika and Yuri from Beshert?
8/20/2019 c28 addledwalrus
It seems a bit coincidental for Max to get a glimpse of that historical event the moment he arrives.
8/11/2019 c1 7T.L. Chasse
Hi Sweetladyjane,

I've been away from Fictionpress for a while, but am just coming back. I had followed you a while back, so I've been seeing your updates. This is the first time I've come back to read them, though. Where do these girls live? Are you from the south?

I like your characters and your easy writing style. :)
8/9/2019 c27 48addledwalrus
It seems a bit selfish of Max to leave at a time like that, especially when Laura is suffering just as much.

Also, pretty apathetic of Paul to just entrust Max's wellbeing to an entity like God. He could have at least actively tried to do something for his son.
7/24/2019 c26 addledwalrus
I think you could have been more descriptive about the funeral and what everyone was going through.
7/4/2019 c25 addledwalrus
Goddamn it, Stephen. You deserved so much better.

With that out of the way, a big flaw that I find in your writing is the way you make things happen too quickly and don't really explore in enough detail how certain events will impact the characters. For example, while I'm pretty sad about what has happened to Stephen, I'm not feeling like there's enough depth to Laura's grief/loss.

I'll try not to be a hypocrite and admit that I have also been guilty of that at times, especially in my older stories.
6/20/2019 c24 addledwalrus
I hope Stephen is just in a deep sleep.
6/5/2019 c23 addledwalrus
You've had pretty promising characters so far, but I think it would do you well to maybe pad events out some more. Things are progressing very rapidly at the moment and the frequent time skips may not give readers enough of a chance to connect to the story or characters.

That aside, I believe that you might have mixed up tenses in the first sentence of this chapter.
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