for Sticky Fingers10/11 c22 
11empiresofwater
I’m glad Edmund is standing up and being distrustful of Lady Helena! I wish he would shake the naivety out of Mallory as well – I know she has an obligation to Helena for taking her in and looking after her, but I’d love to see the tension of her doubts and loyalty to her as she starts to see Helena might be the villain in all of this! The moments she spoke up in this chapter were great. There were a couple of small little head-hopping moments I noticed, e.g. jumping to Sir Edgar at one point, but not particularly glaring :)
11empiresofwaterI’m glad Edmund is standing up and being distrustful of Lady Helena! I wish he would shake the naivety out of Mallory as well – I know she has an obligation to Helena for taking her in and looking after her, but I’d love to see the tension of her doubts and loyalty to her as she starts to see Helena might be the villain in all of this! The moments she spoke up in this chapter were great. There were a couple of small little head-hopping moments I noticed, e.g. jumping to Sir Edgar at one point, but not particularly glaring :)
9/2 c21 empiresofwater
I would have liked to have seen this from Mallory’s perspective rather than Edmund’s as otherwise, Mallory seems a bit...there to be gawked and ogled at, but she had sparks of strength there. I liked when she opened up about her past in the orphanage and how Lady Helena helped her. And I hope she gets her apology from Edmund and doesn’t just forget about it LOL! (Also I’d be careful not to make Mallory sound too ‘cliche environmental protestor’ as otherwise it cheapens her message and character a little).
I would have liked to have seen this from Mallory’s perspective rather than Edmund’s as otherwise, Mallory seems a bit...there to be gawked and ogled at, but she had sparks of strength there. I liked when she opened up about her past in the orphanage and how Lady Helena helped her. And I hope she gets her apology from Edmund and doesn’t just forget about it LOL! (Also I’d be careful not to make Mallory sound too ‘cliche environmental protestor’ as otherwise it cheapens her message and character a little).
6/22 c20 empiresofwater
I liked this chapter a lot! Mallory tried to get involved in the conniving schemes, but I have a feeling it was backfiring on her! I thought it was interesting that the news twisted her words so directly, sounds very plausible! Old Edgar seems sweet too, but I’m sure he has a few tricks up his sleeve. I just wanted some more description of Mallory and her feelings, as there was a lot of dialogue!
I liked this chapter a lot! Mallory tried to get involved in the conniving schemes, but I have a feeling it was backfiring on her! I thought it was interesting that the news twisted her words so directly, sounds very plausible! Old Edgar seems sweet too, but I’m sure he has a few tricks up his sleeve. I just wanted some more description of Mallory and her feelings, as there was a lot of dialogue!
4/22 c1 lucia1156
Awesome story you got here! I like how the plot is going. If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on NovelStar, just submit your story to or
Awesome story you got here! I like how the plot is going. If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on NovelStar, just submit your story to or
4/4 c1 AvegaLil
Great I've lost count of how many times I've read your book. That's the great thing about an amazing novel, you can read it over and over and get something new out of it. If you have some great stories like this one. You can publish it on Novel Star, just submit your story to or
Great I've lost count of how many times I've read your book. That's the great thing about an amazing novel, you can read it over and over and get something new out of it. If you have some great stories like this one. You can publish it on Novel Star, just submit your story to or
3/23 c19 empiresofwater
I feel like Mallory is very overwhelmed by other people in this chapter! I feel like sitting her down and making her think what SHE wants rather than trailing along with other people and doing what they want LOL. Even when trying to give herself more agency, she seems to end up back at square one. That being said, I did enjoy the change of scenery a little at the start, and I think that the protests make an interesting point to show about Mallory’s situation, and how she is all cosy and looked-after. Surely she can see the irony of that?
I feel like Mallory is very overwhelmed by other people in this chapter! I feel like sitting her down and making her think what SHE wants rather than trailing along with other people and doing what they want LOL. Even when trying to give herself more agency, she seems to end up back at square one. That being said, I did enjoy the change of scenery a little at the start, and I think that the protests make an interesting point to show about Mallory’s situation, and how she is all cosy and looked-after. Surely she can see the irony of that?
12/16/2020 c2 1aurorahborealis
The dialogue makes me feel unbelievably fancy and I love fancy talk. This is fantastic so far. It feels almost like victorian and I love that era of clothing and the looks of everything so this only furthers my enjoyment of the era.
1aurorahborealisThe dialogue makes me feel unbelievably fancy and I love fancy talk. This is fantastic so far. It feels almost like victorian and I love that era of clothing and the looks of everything so this only furthers my enjoyment of the era.
12/16/2020 c18 11empiresofwater
I reckon Helga secretly loves bossing Mallory around LOL! I hope Mallory gets to talk with some of the environmental protesters - I'd love to see her display her mettle, though I'm not sure if they'd like her, as she seems a bit of a pawn to her mistress' whims! I wonder what her own thoughts are about the problems they're having?
11empiresofwaterI reckon Helga secretly loves bossing Mallory around LOL! I hope Mallory gets to talk with some of the environmental protesters - I'd love to see her display her mettle, though I'm not sure if they'd like her, as she seems a bit of a pawn to her mistress' whims! I wonder what her own thoughts are about the problems they're having?
6/23/2020 c17 empiresofwater
I like Simon - he seems a nice character to be there for Mallory when she might be feeling out of her depth. I am intrigued about the description of this story too, which I just went back to - are there still those witchy, magical elements involved?
I like Simon - he seems a nice character to be there for Mallory when she might be feeling out of her depth. I am intrigued about the description of this story too, which I just went back to - are there still those witchy, magical elements involved?
3/30/2020 c16 empiresofwater
I liked this chapter even though not much happened LOL! At least Mallory is having fun, sometimes it's just nice to write some fluff and fun, especially in times like this. The only thing I would suggest is that expensive new phones aren't flip ones anymore. Someone who has a flip phone now would be very out of date!
I liked this chapter even though not much happened LOL! At least Mallory is having fun, sometimes it's just nice to write some fluff and fun, especially in times like this. The only thing I would suggest is that expensive new phones aren't flip ones anymore. Someone who has a flip phone now would be very out of date!
1/28/2020 c15 empiresofwater
I was going to say something about Mallory acting childish, but then it seems everyone treats her like a child, so you really can’t expect much more of her! In that way, I feel sorry for her, despite all the luxury Lady Helena gives her too. I would love to see more of her thought processes, like what she felt about the situation with Rashid - her shame, her confusion, maybe even the fact that she wondered if he was speaking the truth in some way! - rather than just her crying. Girls (well, not only girls!) hate crying, it takes so much energy and vulnerability, and is a big thing to let someone witness! That being said, I think the set up for the next morning sounds interesting!
I was going to say something about Mallory acting childish, but then it seems everyone treats her like a child, so you really can’t expect much more of her! In that way, I feel sorry for her, despite all the luxury Lady Helena gives her too. I would love to see more of her thought processes, like what she felt about the situation with Rashid - her shame, her confusion, maybe even the fact that she wondered if he was speaking the truth in some way! - rather than just her crying. Girls (well, not only girls!) hate crying, it takes so much energy and vulnerability, and is a big thing to let someone witness! That being said, I think the set up for the next morning sounds interesting!
12/8/2019 c14 empiresofwater
I like the tension between the characters here. Mallory's outburst was a nice hint at her loyalty to her patron, although it did come across as more cutesy and girlish than fiery! I liked the subtle backstory hinted at between Simon and the Prince, and some discord between them.
I like the tension between the characters here. Mallory's outburst was a nice hint at her loyalty to her patron, although it did come across as more cutesy and girlish than fiery! I liked the subtle backstory hinted at between Simon and the Prince, and some discord between them.
11/8/2019 c13 empiresofwater
I’m intrigued by Walter Bentley and his conspiracy theories LOL! That little tea room sounds nice and relaxing, but the hint of the bumping and bustling city was nicely done too!
I’m intrigued by Walter Bentley and his conspiracy theories LOL! That little tea room sounds nice and relaxing, but the hint of the bumping and bustling city was nicely done too!
10/8/2019 c12 empiresofwater
Nice chapter! I’m excited about the environmental group. There are so many amazing people working to raise awareness and protest about the topic of climate change these days, and so many young people too which I’m so proud about! I’d love for Mallory to explore the different sides of London like that! Although I thought the teasing relationship between her and Edmund was cute, and it’s obvious she cares for him a lot!
Nice chapter! I’m excited about the environmental group. There are so many amazing people working to raise awareness and protest about the topic of climate change these days, and so many young people too which I’m so proud about! I’d love for Mallory to explore the different sides of London like that! Although I thought the teasing relationship between her and Edmund was cute, and it’s obvious she cares for him a lot!