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1/23 c21 48addledwalrus
For a chapter titled 'Courtney's Secret', you sure skimmed over her PTSD fast. I think it would have been more compelling if you had focused more on her condition and the negative effects.

It also didn't read well for her to go from being in severe shock to completely calm in the span of just two sentences. People just don't recover from trauma so easily or quickly.
1/7 c20 addledwalrus
That intense.
12/2/2019 c19 addledwalrus
It might help to form some kind of story plan if you don't already have one, because at this point, it seems like the characters are just meandering along without any clear direction.

I've noticed this in your other stories as well, some of which contain hundreds of chapters.

My assumption is that you want to mirror real life, but reality doesn't always make for a compelling read. Perhaps in the future, you could try condensing things a little to make for a tighter and more fast-paced plot.
11/18/2019 c18 addledwalrus
I must have missed something in this story or the one preceding it, because I can't remember who Boris is.

Was this chapter based on your own experiences, by any chance?
10/25/2019 c17 addledwalrus
Courtney's going to have her heart broken, isn't she?
3/11/2019 c15 addledwalrus
Wow, Destiny has an interesting family tree...
2/21/2019 c14 addledwalrus
The grandmother sounded like an inspiring woman. I think a story about her life would be interesting.
2/11/2019 c13 addledwalrus
The plot thickens...
1/25/2019 c12 addledwalrus
I wonder who Adam will be playing in that movie.
1/11/2019 c11 addledwalrus
I wonder what they'll name the baby...
12/28/2018 c10 addledwalrus
I can definitely relate to pre-driving test anxiety.
12/10/2018 c9 addledwalrus
Hard to believe that she's only nineteen.

On an additional note, Adam must have put a lot of work into that breakfast.
11/22/2018 c8 addledwalrus
Destiny seems to be filled with hate at times.
10/19/2018 c6 addledwalrus
I don't know whether what the juveniles did was forgivable, but in a lot of these cases, they are in fact groomed by authority figures to aid in crimes.
10/8/2018 c5 addledwalrus
Glad Destiny is doing alright in her new job.
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