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for The Humanimals of Mizzer

2/28/2020 c17 aviick
Interesting way to start off the chapter. Made me think about old spirituals that slaves would sing, but, as in the Hobbit, almost provided music in my mind as I read on (especially around the part Smurgle begins to talk about others preferring to die in the slaughter house than to face the Golden Opportunity. it is a theme in life that many would prefer to go without challenge and that perhaps too few would be willing to try the greater challenge. Makes me wonder which the reader would identify with.
4/1/2019 c20 18Sir Scott
All and all it was a pretty good story. I'm glad to see that Beulah made her escape. She was certainly more interesting than the other two characters. I am glad to see Fossil quoted in this story.
~Sir Scott
1/27/2019 c11 4KingLobster
How old are they at this point? Teens? And also, is emerald a bit bigger than Kevin? I think it would only make sense, sense she is a dragon.
1/26/2019 c6 KingLobster
It was interesting, if some what exosting. Although if you aren't planning on improving the story based on my advice, i see little reason to review.
1/19/2019 c5 KingLobster
(If you haven't already) i think you should lookup some writing videos on YouTube, i think it would vastly improve your work.
1/14/2019 c3 KingLobster
I think the humanimals would see normal animals the same as how humans see apes. Just a thought.
1/12/2019 c1 KingLobster
I have a story you might be interested if you like anthropomorphic animals, but you might not like it it you are a furry, because it is partly a critique of the furry fandom. But if you don't mind that, and you enjoy dystopian science fiction that has a happy ending, boy do i have a book for you! It's called hither and thither, and you can find it on my profile.
11/9/2018 c5 aviick
This is a jump chapter that I sometimes have difficulty following, but not due to how you write it, but because my attention span can be short at times. I am sure there will be an "aah-ha" moment coming up!
11/9/2018 c4 aviick
This is an interesting short chapter because you introduce not only Beulah but a core concept that I think must be part of your daily thinking.. that skills and functions are developed early and experience influences for significant periods of time. I wonder what her response is/will be to her father's statement?
11/9/2018 c3 aviick
Dream sequences are always fascinating, as the reader is never sure as to where the imagery and/or the concepts contained within might show up later. You mention that the skills noted will come in handy later, so there is an intrigue factor to this chapter already. Would this be a segway-type chapter or it's own story within a story.. write on!
9/28/2018 c2 aviick
Kevin seems to have an interesting beginning and I wonder as to how his decision making and identity will be applied here. To what degree will his POV be challenged and who will be his greatest influence in the story. Looking forward to more!
9/28/2018 c1 aviick
I am glad to see you writing characters from Mizzer as this is very imaginative. I like the name Beulah Scarab! And would like to know about her and her life in Dirtberg and the gem mine where she is essentially forced labor. I am looking forward to the addition of chapters as this can take many dimensions and help the reader understand Marzipan's world view as well.

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