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2/12 c1 knockmeoffmyfeet
Hello! I would like to invite you to join our platform to present a good quality story to our readers! Kindly send me a message if this offer piqued your interest
10/16/2018 c1 10Emoddess
As usual, your words and descriptions are excellent! Even though I have to remember your unique way of reusing the same characters for different stories, in a different setting, and just basically restarting it all over, I enjoyed reading it. I have no issues with how you write the content, for example like its sorrow and bleak setting considering what the MC just went through, if anything I think you're one of the writers who nailed the genre you were going for.

This is a good one that could potentially become more but at the moment I feel a bit dissatisfied, like I can't help but wanting to know more of this (which is good by the way), like maybe showing the start of how everyone met? I'm curious why Yue did that and what happened to his friends. I just felt like I jumped into the middle part without knowing what really happened, and I was wondering if there's gonna be more flashbacks about scenes with Syaoron, Yue and their friends before everything became the way they are.

I'm saying all these but I do think the title suits what Chapter 1 stands for, and I'm assuming there's going to be more to this in the next chapters so maybe you're going to explain more about it all.

Just another thing, personally I think it would be better if he's not seventeen, that just feels pretty off and weird reading it especially since he got married and is now a widower. I thought if he's a little bit older and in college, then that would make sense. In terms of grammatical error, I think I only spot like three (they're not that obvious but it does help running it over because your words are almost flawless to my knowledge, one of which is the term brunette. I thought all this while that for the male term, it's brunet instead of brunette but apparently that isn't too common, so anything goes really).

I hope I'm not being too strict or anything, I enjoyed reading your work and I thought these might help you in your future considerations. Looking forward to the next one! :D

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