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7/25/2019 c1 Charlieteam
unrequited love? who do you love sir?
10/21/2018 c1 Will9035
Oh man. Poetry is really not my thing and never has been, but I shall do my best here.

I did like this work. I liked the quick, brisk nature of the verses. Oddly enough, I did feel some emotion pulling through, as well as a genuine desire to connect with who the narrator was speaking to. Did you have someone in specific in mind when you wrote this? My gut instinct was to say 'yes,' because it carried the sort of intimate language that I wouldn't expect of someone reaching out to a foreign stranger. But, on the other hand, I could also see this as a plea for people to reach out to others, and to listen when someone else tries to speak out.

Like I said, I've always been bad with reading poetry. But, for all the good it does, I truly feel like you did a good job with this one. I can tell you put actual work into it, rather than just submitting something "hot off the press."
10/20/2018 c1 2beach walker
I loved this a lot. I wish I could be a little more constructive with my feedback, but explaining why I like poems often evades me.

I like how you say so much without always making it easy to understand it. It’s almost like there’s a whole lot more going on in the blank spaces between.

“I asked you
stumbling
shut me down”

This is a good example of how the lack of punctuation gives this multiple meanings. (I keep seeing “you shut me down...”

And the “everything” instead of the more expected “something” opens this up wide.

Thanks for sharing!

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