Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Darkness' Love

6/22 c1 TheRaider
Hello,
I've combed through your story and find it very enjoyable. The relationships between characters are consistent and the world building is coming along quite nicely. I'm looking forward to further chapters. Do you have an upload schedule?
11/22/2018 c1 LDF
[cried the voice, it had to be my youngest sister Kara.]

This is a comma splice. You need to split this sentence in two or use a different transition.

["Kara." I mumbled]

If there's a speech verb, it's not considered the start of a new sentence, so there should be a comma rather than a period inside the quotes.

["Wake up!", she began shaking me.]

As a rule of thumb, if you have two punctuations where one is in the quotes and another directly after it, pretend that the quotes aren't there and you'll see the issue.

Wake up!, doesn't sound grammatically correct, does it?

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service