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8/8/2019 c3 5echogirlcapri
Wow, a lot happened in this chapter! Let me touch on some things...

I was right about Gloom and Tira teaming up, which I'm happy about! She has to learn to listen to him, though...even though she's his Mistress now, he definitely knows more than she does haha. It'll be interesting to see how their teamwork will evolve.

The scene where Mistress Crowfoot turned the burglar into a spider was probably my favorite in the story so far. It was graphic in all the right ways, and by the end of it, I felt a bit like screaming just like Tira was. I think it shows off her cruelty perfectly—on the one hand, it was a horrifying use of magic, but on the other hand she did sort of have a reason for doing it since he was a burglar. I see Crowfoot as problematic but maybe redeemable, not as evil as Nazek or this "Beast" entity.

There's definitely a lot of tension and plot in this story, which I like. Already we've had a lot of action, and I haven't been bored at all. I'm interested in this new development where Tira's facing a different kind of evil, the anti-witch authorities. However, I feel like things might be moving just a little too fast, and at moments I'd like for the story to slow down and show some more complexities or more mundane parts of the worldbuilding. Even just a conversation between characters so we could learn more about their personalities. But I'm definitely enjoying the story so far! Looking forward to reading more.
8/8/2019 c2 echogirlcapri
Man, Mistress Crowfoot had me in the first few lines. I'd like to be able to create life...being a witch suddenly seems like a pretty good deal.

The scene in the moonlight is beautifully written, I love the way you describe the scenery. It was kind of creepy as well, which seems like what you were going for, so I liked that!

Even though I feel a little distant from Tira as far as emotions go, I'm enjoying learning more about her. Her relationship with Mistress Crowfoot should be interesting—I like how they're teetering on something between strangers and friends and a master-servant type relationship. I can already see a difference between the type of magic Tira wants to do and the kind of destruction Mistress Crowfood seems to want to do, and I'm worried Tira is going to get corrupted by her.

I felt like the scene between Tira and her father was a bit rushed—I'd like to see more depth to their relationship. I thought it was a pretty big moment for her character development, but we didn't really get to see it in detail.

Excited to see where this will go! I'm hoping Tira and Gloom will team up against Crowfoot and Darkness and use their magic for good.
5/1/2019 c1 echogirlcapri
This is a very interesting beginning! I was captivated from the moment that Mistress Crowfoot came into the room, she seemed very mysterious and I liked having to guess for a while what the apprenticeship was going to be about.

A couple questions: Tira didn't seem too surprised that Mistress Crowfoot was a witch, or about Gloom. Is magic widely known in this universe? Also, I kept wondering if Tira's dad or stepmom was going to come looking for her. Is that going to happen later in the story, or do they just not care?

Thank you for the interesting read! I think you're off to a great start.
4/10/2019 c1 4She Who Loves Pineapples II
Interesting! The witch in this person doesn’t seem quite as good-natured as some of your other cool green-skinned characters. And Tira seems totally oblivious to that. Maybe it’s denial? I do like how you use irony and let the reader figure things out that Tira cannot. If I could make a recommendation, it would be to take more time to delve into Tira’s head. It would make her feel more real and more interesting as a POV character
1/27/2019 c4 6ElvenValar
nice ch
1/27/2019 c3 ElvenValar
good ch
1/27/2019 c2 ElvenValar
nice job
1/27/2019 c1 ElvenValar
like ;)
1/25/2019 c2 4i'm sherlock
I loved this chapter's opening scene! the descriptions were excellent
1/22/2019 c1 i'm sherlock
Ooh! What a cliffhanger! I really like the universe you've cultivated here, and can't wait to see it expand. Tira is a likable protagonist, if a bit naive. I wonder what specifically Gloom is trying to warn her about...

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