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2/19 c2 6WolfGoesBaa
Ah, we finally get to see more action and the characters doing more things other than talking. I like the inclusion of the Journey to the West mythology. I wonder if there will be more mythologies in here cause the whole White Wizard thing feels Lord of the Rings-esque. The more the better!

"Oh, trying to take my job?" Maka giggled. - Maka is not speaking here. Her reaction should be on the next line.

My friend Slash and I know him well - who is Slash and other than the fact that he has a cool name, why should we care? There's no indication that the other characters even know who Slash is, remove this from the dialogue.

It's hard to build attachment the character of they show little emotion in general. Like when Sun Wukong describes the Darkwood, we don't get a view of how the MC feels about it, no fear, no apprehension no excitement. Then Wukong takes them through the Darkwood and says their surrounded, seems like an important moment, what was following them? How much danger are they in? Etc... But this moment is glided quickly past, because once again, you did not take time to explore the characters emotions and thoughts.
2/18 c1 WolfGoesBaa
Seems you've created quite the interesting world, that is thought out. I take it you love world building, which is awesome, cause I like world building too. This is so far shaping up to be a character driven story, with the MC seeking the ultimate goal.

This chapter though was just an info dump. Meaning unless your reader is a world building buff, it's not that interesting to read.

but the most normal of these is perhaps the strongest - too much allegory. Don't tell us what to think is normal.

but I [cam] try to [ne] optimistic. Nothing is

They all went out [tobpractice] their magic skills

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