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4/4/2019 c1 Will9035
Dang, this is as far as the story goes? I feel like there's so much potential here-not the least of which was the cliffhanger-esque ending that you left us on.

The characterization and chemistry between Rone and Dr. Bethall was phenomenal. Initially I found myself totally siding with Rone's attitude about having a job to do, having no patience for people like the guard who held him up just for the sake of it, and who felt that his duties to the state were of the utmost importance and that he needed to treat this assignment dead seriously. I was fully in his corner...and then you introduced Dr. Bethall. I could really, really understand her reluctance to take time away from her also quite busy and consequential job to show around someone who didn't fully grasp her responsibilities and how much he was inconveniencing her. Major kudos to you on the way they carried themselves and the way they bounced their personalities off each other. For a one-chapter short, you slipped in fantastic character development for both of them.

Outside of that, your prose was strong as always. Little things, like the rumbling of the elevator and the sense of nausea that it induced, stood out the most to me. I enjoyed the vivid scenery that you laid out inside the caves as well. It sounds like you put a lot of work into both the caverns and the characterizations for this to only be a one-chapter short. But, boy, did you make its short length count.

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