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9/10/2019 c6 17The Youngest Mistress
Hm, not much action in this chapter. Damn, I hope Behrt grows out of his naive boy phase. Keeps that up, he could get killed, or worse.
8/24/2019 c5 The Youngest Mistress
Oh crap. ...I haven't commented in time... right...?

Well... I shall move on, right? Armin seems to be quite the treat, kissing Camille's hand like a true gentleman. Can I say they're both moods?

Oh, Turner, curious as to how he'll turn out, as with many other things too. (I.E. the dagger and those assassins and Feig).

-The Youngest Mistress.
7/23/2019 c4 The Youngest Mistress
Berht has pimples...? Ooh, he best better not pop 'em, popping a pimple can leave bad permanent holes on your face. Captain Pike is such a snark knight! This line: 'You will not bring any visitors to them [the beds].' Hehehe. XDDD Hotels, don't you just love hotels? They're awesome and the best part are the peanut butter packets they give you at breakfast!

One mistake I caught: 'You sleep when he eats' - you mean, 'sleeps' right?

Pardon I haven't commented much, I just finished with some stuff right now. XP
7/10/2019 c3 The Youngest Mistress
Awww, Camille sounds like an uber cutie; Master Aruvin clearly sounds like the perfect father figure for her. I wonder what happened to Camille's actual family.

I like the descriptions set on here, like when sunlight came in and revealed the titles of the books - I can see happen clearly, as an in an animated movie!

For concrit, let's see... I'd change this: 'and its rays burst into the library' to this: 'and its rays burst through'. I felt it be awfully redundant.

Anywhoo, I wonder goes after this... if Camille ever remembers where she Marus from.
7/6/2019 c2 The Youngest Mistress
Niva and Nish? Are they twins? Curious. And Armin? Was that inspired by Attack On Titan? I see what you did there. ;)

Wow, that's a big chunk o' words you got there in the middle. For concrit, I would change this: 'If I were to make my move' to this, 'If I were to be pragmatic'. Felt it was pretty wordy. Annnnnd, I would add semicolons in between these three sentences: 'Each had a small pack on them.', 'A couple of them were amiably chatting.', and 'An ornate carriage was following right behind them, pulled by two horses'.

This part made me chuckle. ['Ouch. Insulted by a meathead. Niva's going to get a lot of mileage out of that comment.']
7/5/2019 c1 The Youngest Mistress
Hmmm, not bad; not bad at all. You create a decent picture with Caldea, I can see her neck glow perfectly and her standing in between everything. For constructive criticism... I would recommend this: "However, she had vanished." instead of putting in 'But'. Sentences starting with 'but' kind of seem odd for me.

Anywhoo, keep on going! I wonder what lies after this.

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