Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Myth

4/4 c1 Souma Sumire
I don't know if this is an actual myth that you rewrote in your words or if you created the entire story from scratch but if you created the story then you have a very good imagination. Your writing style is also very like the style of folktales so you score points there.
However, writing the entire story in one paragraph makes it VERY TEDIOUS to read. Especially with each line being so long, there are many places where one can lose sight of the line that they are reading. It was tough to read through the entire thing.
Another problem is that there are many grammatical errors throughout the text.
For example: 'Snake owned a beautiful amulet that could change the appearance (of it's) wearer.
It would also be better to give a little introduction at the beginning explaining that this story is from when the snake had some human features like arms and legs. The lack of it really confused me when I read the old lady and the thief parts as I was imagining the kind of snake we know the whole time.
With the above-mentioned changes, this story will become much easier to read and I am sure many people will like it.
2/19 c1 9Bookwormgirl64
Cool! You should totally write more stories like this!
1/5 c1 Guest
I love this story!

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service