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for The Robot Who Played Violin

12/2/2019 c1 1Aminta.defender
Right off the bat, the title intrigues me. I do feel like there should be a "the" before violin, but *shrug.* My mind is also getting sidetracked on how a robot would play a violin. So great job, I'm already intrigued before reading your summary or a single line of the story.

A robot with an existential crisis?

Just want to say first and second chair violin is a big thing. Even if they were both second violin, the first and second chair might be more skilled than the 20th chair in first violin.

Seriously, how does this robot look like? Is he humanoid? Tiny? Artoo? I have to know.

"Three laws adhering" :) Ah Asimov... Wait, Lady Dinah asks for sex. Is Arthur even humanoid?

Nice little piece of worldbuilding with cyborgs creating the AI robots. Hmm... Also finally, getting some descriptions. So four fingers and shoulders and red eyes...

Surprise! Lady Dinah was deaf and now I feel sorry for Arthur, but also understand his owner much more. :(

And he's going to delete himself. Ah that pesky third law was it? And now the doctor is dead in a strange twist of fate. Will Arthur be blamed? No, will he take revenge? Doesn't that conflict with the first law? Robot hippies. This feels like the scene in the Incredibles where Mr. Incredible saved a man who didn't want to be saved. I'm a little bit creeped out that they have been watching Arthur...

And the end... *sob*

In all, I really enjoyed this short story. It truly builds off Asimov's work and really feels like it could fit in the I,Robot universe. My only complaint is the lack of descriptions. At the end, I've realized that Arthur is probably humanoid, but still not too sure. Also don't know how anyone looks like besides the brief beautiful description for Sera. Would a robot even think a human beautiful? Also I'm really wondering what inhibitor chips do if they have the three laws.
12/2/2019 c1 4Osetto
Heya, Kam. Certainly picked up on some influences with this one. Glad to see you bringing your penchant for mechanical character to some original fiction.

As far as the story goes, it gets going pretty much immediately, with a ‘personalized’ narrator injecting some character into the prose without relying on a first-person perspective, which at this point is pretty solid foundation/formula to work off of. There was almost comedic air throughout with how blunt and blasé the narration could get about matters of discomfort and death. If ever you’re experimenting with future ‘voices’ for third-person stories, I think I’d like to see one that approaches full-on absurdist/nihilist musing and delivery. ;)

Content-wise, I think you continue to do a good job with ‘situational’ writing, getting everything across that you need to when focusing on someone’s thoughts or characters interacting. Moving into the realm of original stuff, though, I feel like you could use a little boost to ‘scenic’ writing. Time and space can at times feel ‘floaty’ since there isn’t much in the way of descriptions to lock things down.

Seeing as this is only chapter one, I’m interested in seeing where things go from here. I’ll send the technical notes over in a PM.

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