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for Seeking the Hide

1/28/2020 c1 6She Who Loves Pineapples II
Hi, here from the review game. :)

Well, to start off, my review is a bit... limited by my slight confusion about what this piece is. Your friend wrote it but you edited it, correct? And you labeled it as one-shot, but it’s not marked complete and the ending seems quite abrupt. I’m a little confused but I’ll take it at face valley.

To start, there are indeed some pretty amazing lines in here! For example, the opening line, the picture of the dead hare (unpleasant as it is) all work together to paint this dark picture of this menacing forest, like a gothic painting.

I just felt like I was left with a lot of questions and wanted more. I mean I get that this was a school assignments and not a novel, but I was so confused. How did Lucius’s dad die, what was Lucius trying to do, why did Lucius originally think he was adept at dark magic, why did the monster leave a pendant behind? Was the monster his parent? Did the monster come out of Lucius’s pendant? Did the monster in his pendant kill Lucius’s dad? I really want to know more, just a little bit more for the twist ending to feel satisfying and not only shocking.

Anyway, it was definitely a compelling read that kept my interest throughout, so that was awesome. Particularly impressive considering the minimal dialogue.

Oh and a minor thing but “The” in your title should not be capitalized

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